Yeah its been a while... part one

Yeah, I haven't updated this thing in a good 3 days. Sorry, but I tend to have a life. I'm going to make two enteries today... perhaps more. A lot has happened to me since I last updated, and I think I'm going to need to update twice today to cover everything that's gone on in my life over the past couple of days.

I'm In love!

I just had to point that out. So many of the people I know are bitter, and leave that icky taste in the back of your mouth. I just have to be happy, because no one else is. So goddamnit, I'm happy, and if you don't like it, then go to hell!!

Well, I don't really mean that, I don't really want anyone to suffer from eternal damnation, but hell, you know, sometimes you have to use hell in a sentance in order to get people to pay attention.

So I've been fairly busy, and haven't updated, right? Well quite frankly, this is aside from the fact that I have had a ton of work to do, don't have internet access at home at the moment, and I've joined a health club.

Yes, I've stopped complaining, because I'ma stoppin' my problemo. Si? Si. You see, I thought I was getting fat, which I'm not, really. But when you spend most of your life under 140 and you find that you're 170, you tend to be like, well damn. That's totally what I was thinking too, man. I'm all about like, eating right, and exersising.

I'm very excited about this. I went to the club two days in a row, and I'm going back tonight for an hour and a half or so. I have to leave work a little early so that I can get to the club. In fact, I don't have to do that. I can leave when I usually do, and head off to the club right after work. I know this is pretty boring, but occasionally I write in this thing like it really is a personal diary, instead of a fun interpitation of my life.

What is my life? My life is filled with really stupid second guesses. I'm always thinking that the other hand has the ball in it. Sometimes I think that the other hand has the ball in it even when I can see the red mark of the ball sticking out of the bottom of your hand. Yeah, that was pretty deep. Honestly, I'm always second guessing myself, and others. Like, if you take the time to read my diary instead of just passing by this entery and leaving like everyone else does, you'd get to know me, and how I have this deep love and affection for my boyfriend, but I'm not always sure if I want to spend my entire life with him. No matter who he was, or how in love with him I could possibly be, I'd always second guess. That's the problem with being doiminated by Libra. A lot of my Zodiac chart is in libra, and that sucks, because librans get on my fucking nerves. No offense to Libras, but hey, you guys argue too goddamn much. Anyway... I second guess all the time... yeah. Okay... Like I'm often thinking too much. I imagine that I'm in love, however my love isn't strong enough. Here's a sample of my poor self confidance in action:

"Yeah, I'm so in love with Glenn. One day I'd like to marry him. I don't think he'd really want to spend the rest of his life with me though. I'm a cool person... why wouldn't he want to spend the rest of his life with me? I mean, he trusts me, and I trust him, so why wouldn't he want to marry me?

"Besides, he cheated on me once. Well, he didn't really cheat, and he only kissed her. But he spend the night up there! Who knows what could have happened? But if anything had happened, I would have heard about it. God I'm such a loser. Glenn isn't going to want to marry me, I suck. But I love him and nothing can change that. Nothing. No matter how he feels, I'll love him anyway"

Yeah, I'm nuts.

Well, that's it for this episode of the Mia Bogard show. Talk to you folks later.

Love and adoration,

Pam