Can I just get on with my life

oh dear god

I'm sure the real world misses my old fashioned diary enteries where I just bitched about my day. Well, I'm going to try to go back to that.

I don't update like, every day anymore, but since I bought a year's worth of gold membership, I might as well do something to get my thirty bucks worth.

I love diaryland, but it's a pain in the ass sometimes.

So, anyway, I've changed my layout to make it more user friendly. You like? Good. Well, I realized today that I can hold pee in my body for a really long time, which will be a good talent to hold on to for when I'm a famous actress, and I have to stay on a set for a long period of time. Woo hoo!

I'm still wavering over what I'm doing for fourth of july. I want to eat barbeque, but I also feel terrible for my friends who have to work the weekend. *namely, frank, crazian john* I'm toying with the idea of going to boston, but I don't feel like spending the weekend with a guy I hardly know who I have no romantic intentions toward. Not to mention that he's Amanda's boyfriend. *grimace*

Oh, did I mention that Crazian John has a crush on me? Damnit. He really doesn't seem to think past the air in front of his nose. I mean, I am in no way concievable the queen of forethought, but goddamnit, this is really tired. I don't want to date john. I really would like for him to read that sentance, because I'm too nice to turn him down, especially since he's still going through shit with his ex-fiance, who he FUCKED a couple of days ago. *sigh*

Being a superhero is hard sometimes.

Then, there's work. I've been fucking around a lot lately. I haven't really had much concentration, and have been trying to find creative work for me to do. That ain't workin. I really would like to get a new job, but this whole 401k plan thing that they're offering me is enough to make me want to work here for two more years, just so I can collect funds when I leave.

I'm really into this whole investing thing. When I'm making better money, I might get into the stock market. I enjoy paying other people money to make me more money. Plus I want to prepare for my retirement. I don't want to end up like everyone else in my family, who's looking at a retirement as entertaining as watching sunday morning television.

I've been listening to Michelle Branch lately. She kicks ass. Also, I'm still listening to emeinem's CD every once and a while. I'm supprised that he's put out two rap albums that I enjoy. I guess it's 'cause he's white. He's also an air sign.

Okay, so here's what I really wanted to say-- Frank and John came over my house yesterday-- well, saturday night, anyway. Frank and I played James Bond 007, Agent Under Fire for PS2 for about a half an hour while John checked his email, looked at porn, and so on.

It was the most fun that I've had in this apartment in quite a few weeks. I really like playing video games with Frank (here goes the transition from old school enteries to the new brand of "Frank's not my boyfriend, boo hoo" crap... sorry.) He gets into the game, and talks shit. That makes me feel good, because a lot of guys won't talk shit to me while playing video games, especially if they know that I'm good enough at the game to whoop their ass.

I flirted with him last night, though. He stuck his finger in my face, and I was a little annoyed by that. So I did what I thought was best. I bit his finger gently, and left it in my mouth for a while. (Yes, pam has an oral...erm, fettish) He looks at me with those damn sexy eyes, and I was like, "Damnit." From that point there was no going back. I sucked on his finger again, twice. Needless to say, I won those games.

Then as the evening went on he kept requesting for me to show him my boobies. No go. Pam = cocktease, these days.

Anyhow, I did see his tummy yesterday. That was an exciting experinence.

I don't know what I'm going to do about this situation. I know what I can do! It'll fix everything! I'm gonna go to BED!!! Woo!

Goodnight.

My love and adoration are being saved for someone,

Pam