I love him.

http://miabogard.signmyguestbook.com/

Written, Sunday, Jan. 26, 2003 at around: 5:46 PM

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Well then.

What a weird day.

Today was weird as a direct result of my journal. I like the fact that my friends read it, because it makes me feel as though people actually give a damn. Sometimes it's more of a damn given than nessicary, but whatever. ^_^

I gave Crazian John the address to my journal yesterday. That was actually kind of funny, because he said he only skimmed it in search of a mention of his name. Then he called me later, saying that it's pointless for him to read this, because he talks to me all the time anyway. He knows a lot about me. More than most people... but still not everything.

Amusingly enough, John may know the 'most' about me from my curent selection of friends, however, I must say that frank knows the most truth about me. Oooh, ain't that a shocker? But seriously, it would be stupid for any one person to know everything about me. I'd be hated, called names out of jest, and probabally be in jail. Yes, I said jail. But for geeky stuff, not for like, kicking someone's ass. *laughs at her own stupidity*

All in all, it's fun having my friends read this! The only problem is that now I'm a little more worried about my grammar and spelling. The person who writes this journal is supposedly smart, and I don't give a fuck about spelling or grammar in my journal. Whoops.

Anyway... The uh, ex-not boyfriend, to put it in Darrell like terms, is a very funny guy. That's all I have to say about that. Wait, oh yeah... I'm me. I have plenty more to say about that. I'm the only one who knows truly how much entertainment I get out of frank making fun of me. Why? Because when he starts bustin' my chops, I shoot him a look. You know that look. If you're a guy, you've been hit with it. If you're a woman, you've mastered it. I controll, posess, and love the ability to shoot the look. Plus, frank has the best reactions to when I give him the look.

Looking at my friends, this motley lot of fellows is perhaps the truest, and tight knit group of people I've ever known. Like I said yesterday, these guys are brutal when it comes to their insults, but like I was told yesterday, "Much truth is said in jest." I hope so. Because man, sometimes I'm just hoping that there's a deeper meaning to the ass busting comments that come out of these guys. They're good people, but in a very indirect way. I love each of them (some more than others), but sometimes I wish they'd just come out and say shit.

Tomorrow is monday! Yay! The Aquarian Guy (who needs a better online nickname outta me) is hitting up the R5 tomorrow morning, and visiting me! Yay! We spoke this morning, and laid out some plans. We're going to play xbox, eat, and go to some museums. How fucking cool is that? Okay, okay, it's not cool at all, but a good time will be had by the nerds.

I haven't been inside of the art museum since I worked there, oh so many moons ago. I've still yet to see the entire museum. Parts of that museum have graced my eyes that no normal museum visitor will ever see. Quite frankly, (heh) they are places that I never want revisit. The Philadelphia Museum of Art is a very scary place. If there is anywhere in this city that could be the possible host to vampires, ghosts, or giant talking yellow birds, the art museum would be the spot.

Hold on to your child's hand, and stay within the light when visiting the Philadelphia Museum of art.

Hopefully, Aquarius Guy and I will be heading off to the Franklin Institute as well. Woo hoo! I haven't been there since I used to hang out with Wil. Maybe Sara will be working, and we can get into the planitarium for free. :-D

God damn, I'm a geek.

Anyway, on the sexual front, I'm still air dryin' that shit. Well, not really. I'm all alone. Just me and my little pink vibrator, that doesn't even have batteries in it right now.

Remember the other day when I said that I was being offered sex from an attractive, younger lesbian girl? Well, I'm getting kind of human about the situation. I don't think I can do it. Damn me. If I intend to have lesbian sex, and I mean SEX, anytime soon, I'd have to be with someone I'm not already friends with. Because then I'd look at her (if/when we stopped having sex because I just got tired of it, or I got all stupid or whatever) and still get all wet and whatnot. That's a bizzare feeling to get from a friend.

Come out and say shit, lol.

Oh yeah, the superbowl comes on today. I got invited to an online game of whacked. Gotta go!

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Saturday, Jan. 25, 2003 at around: 11:04 PM

What a cool ass day

Wow.

What a day. My friends are awesome. I have another close Aquarian friend, Sharee. She's like me, only more violent. She was a bully when she was little. Well, remove the past tense, and whatnot, and you've got Sharee. She's a good person, and she understands me. That's so very rare. Many people are under the impression that they get me, but they don't see all of my inner contridictions. Well, unless they read this... Anyway, she gets me, and I get her, so we make good friends. I like her alot, and I fear the fact that we are probabally going to become best friends. Fear the double water barers.

Speaking of water barers, I didn't get a chance to speak with my male aquarian counterpart today. He's really coming to visit me on Monday, and I'm totally psyched. Yes, goddamnit. I said "Totally Psyched." I don't call myself Oreo Barbie for nothin'. Boys usually aren't all nice to me like he is, so this should be interesting. I need to start making plans and whatnot.

I laughed a lot today. My friends are such wonderful people, even when they're saying rotten things. Well, at least when they're insulting, it's funny. The guys have a tendancy to really be mean sometimes, but I've gotten to a point where I just don't give a fuck. Humor is humor, and I've learned not to take stuff personally. Four of five years ago, the things that get said to me on a daily basis would make me cry, but now I can't stop laughing. Wonderful people.

I was out with Frank, Darrell, and John this evening.

I worked with frank today. I still kinda like him. I'm over trying to be in a relationship, however uh, yeah. I'm soooo much more comfortable around him now that I'm not all stupid. However, falling out of that evil L is more difficult than I make it seem. Maybe we should have sex, and figure things out from there. ... ...

That actually sounds like a good idea in my current state of hornyness.

But no, Frank was born about 4 days too late, and he's a Pisces. Damnit. Oh well, he makes for a very good friend, and YES, he is a good person. So says the Oreo Barbie.

The following is a public service announcment:

For any of you fuckers out there who are upset, sad, or depressed, all I can say is I'll listen. I care. I really do. This public service announcment was brought to you by the Pam Newman Love and Adoration Board

Sometimes it's easier to not say what needs to be said. Mostly because everyone knows what I'm gonna say. Yeah, I can get vauge sometimes....

The only real complaint that I have for today is that I still work at game stop. Well, I'm not upset with working for the company, I'm upset about not doing better. 21 year old girls who have years of technical experince should not work in retail. I'm really starting to not give a fuck, and that's a bad thing. I should take pride in everything I do. I think I'm going to start doing that. It'll help me stay sane.

Yo, X-box live is like taking up my life. I was up until like 5am playing whacked and unreal championship. How crazy is that? Well, I'm going to go play more xbox live. Heh.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Saturday, Jan. 25, 2003 at around: 10:29 AM

I have xbox live, my Gamer Tag is Oreo Barbie

Hi!

Maybe I do wear my emotions on my sleeve. I'm all happy and whatnot. Any of my friends who were worried about me being sad, or depressed should no longer worry! I love all of my friends. There are a large number of people who I've become very close to who are having a really difficult time right now. I'm doing my best to be the happy one for everyone, and right now it isn't so difficult because I'm actually in a good mood. Ah, my constantally depressed friends all need hugs. I really wish they could share my nonsensical glee.

Guess what I did? I bought X-Box live!! Xbox live is so much fun, and I'd reccomend that purchace to anyone with an xbox, 50 bucks plus tax and a credit card. -Microsoft won't charge you extra for xbox live until one year from the day you sign up. The credit card is just to verify that you'll be able to pay for it in a year.- If you'd like to play with me online, please feel free:

I don't think that I've shared the fact that I own all three major video game systems now. I own a PS2, a Game Cube, and XBox. No, that was not an invitation for Philadelphians to come rob me, so please don't. I've decided that I love the xbox the most, although I do have a deep love for all three systems.

The PS2 is a standard, that breaks down, is slightly half assed, and makes good rpg's (See final fantasy x and Kingdom Hearts) only because they currently have squaresoft by the balls (Read: You-do-what-we-say-or-die contract.) Thus far, the PS2 is glenn's favorite system. The Xbox is geeky, gets online very easily, and my dorky ass has more games for the Xbox than any other system. Me=dork. The game cube is cute and little... much like Gabi (That's her favorite system)

Speaking of gabi, I'm going to go visit her tomorrow. I'm going to bring animal crossing (a gamecube game), to let her play for a while. She'll love it. I haven't visited gabi so far this year, and I hardly made eye contact with her all last year. I think it's time to get over my assholedness, and go and be nice. I like gabi, so I suppose I should stop bein' an ass.

Plus Wil lives with her now, and I haven't seen him since... I can't remember. I miss him. Every time I speak to him direclty he has asked me to be the female in a Him, Gabi, and Other Female three way. Yes, I've seriously considered this. I don't think I'll do it, though. Wil isn't as convincing as most of my other friends, and I'm not sure if I should be having sex with old friends.

Speaking of having sex, it kind of dawned on me this morning that I'm not getting any. I know I mentioned this before... damnit. I got a little irritable about that. I didn't masturbate, so that's probabally why I'm still a little pissed off.

Right now, I'm in a state of sexual flux. Potentially, because I'm a female, I could have sex with any guy I choose. However, I'm not a slut, nor do I want to get a burning sensation when urinating. Sadly, I could be having sex with a very attractive bisexual girl, but that damn conciance of mine says otherwise. This attractive bisexual girl is a friend of a freind. I could, but I won't because it'd disturb the friend to no end.

Why do I have to give a fuck? It's really keeping me from getting a fuck. I know, I must sound incredibly slutty. Well, I'm not. I can count the number of people I've slept with on one hand, and have a finger or two left over to count myself as well. Perhaps it's just better that I remain a good person, and just wait things out.

Oh, but this would be a totally different journal entry if I was a guy. If I was male, I'd be such a dog.

Male Pam:

And I wouldn't care.

Oh, and Mr. Darkness, blushing is ever so adorable. ^.^

Love and adoration,

Oreo Barbie!