Indeed!

Before I get started,

Yeah, I know I haven't updated in like, forever. Bite me.

Okay.

So I went outside this morning. My intentions behind leaving my home were again, seeking employment. I went to a place called labor-ready and filled out an application. Labor Ready is where everyone who, is fresh out of jail, on welfare and trying to qualify for welfare-to-work credit, still wet off of the boat from a third world country, or has otherwise given up on their search for emplyoment.

I'd be the latter, folks.

I filled out the lousy quiz on job saftey, and the woman behind the counter was very supprised that someone filled out the entire form in less than 15 minutes. I don't think that's the place that I belong. It's like the land of misfit toys up in that peice.

Right.

In other job news, I think I've pretty much given up on all hope of employment at the airport. I'm going to tell them to stick their non existant-job up their ass, because guess what? I got me a data entry job in center city. Thank god. I don't like data entry, but I'll gladly bite, suck, and carress the bullet for a daily reason to leave the house and steady paycheck. I start monday.

It's only like 20 hours a week, but I'm sure I can kick it. I might still talk to cristina about working for her part time as well, that way I might still have money left over. I'm going back to the world of having more than one job again. That's something I'll gladly do if it means no more serious money stressing.

Oh yeah, funny, yet sick.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Wednesday, Apr. 23, 2003 at around: 1:40 AM

Baseball an stuff

Yo,

Why do people call me in the middle of the night to tell me things that would be just as well told to me the next day? I don't know either. Why do I love major leauge basball so much more today? I know, but I'll leave your answers up to your imaginaton.

*insert koolaide smile here*

Today was a bizzare day. Well, every day in my life is rather bizzare. Anyhoo...The plans for today were to buy cat food, watch a baseball game with Frank, and do something about getting some work. No go for that 'work' one. I had sent some emails, and tried to contact a bunch of people in regards to employment, but none of those assholes wanted to help me. I did, however get some contact information to a job in the city. Hopefully they wont' string my ass along.

*shaking fist!*

This afternoon, I went with crazian John, Crazian John's Cousin, and Jason back to south street. Jay was getting his tattoo today, and I went to be moral support, as I'll need tons of support when I go to get mine. No, seriously, I almost cried when I was getting my ears peirced. *insert the hoots of 'wuss' and other such names*

I waited with them for a while for the girl to start Jay's tattoo. It got later, and later, and I was trying to go to the baseball game. I didn't really want to ditch Jay in his time of nerves and pain, but I wanted to go see frank, and watch baseball.

So I ditched John, Jay, and Crazian Cousin, and high talied it off to meet up with Frank. We met up, frank found him some parking, and we went off to watch the Phillies game. After we sat down, Frank tricked me. See, the game hadn't quite started yet, and he asks me if I'm hungry. Yeah, I was hungry, but I really feel awful asking him to buy me stuff all the time, so I just flat out said no. Especially because the stuff at sporting events is just damn expensive. Anyway, he was hungry, so I walked him to the consessions stand.

I'll be damned if I didn't just outright say, "No, I don't want anything," and he slickly ordered two sodas and two hot dogs. At first I thought he was just really hungry, and was being nice and got me a soda. Then we sat down, and it wasn't even about the soda. The damn hot dog was for me too. And you'd better believe that when he said he wasn't gonna eat it, that I gobbled it down. *laughs* Gobbled.

Anyway, the game wasn't very competitive but it was fun. Four people got hit in the head with baseballs, and there were a group of people sitting two rows in front of us who weren't home-team fans. Those poor folks. The dudes sitting right in front of us kept making a point to let them know how much the Rockies suck.

Heh, it's kind of funny, because the last time I updated about going to a baseball game I had also gone with frank. Even funnier is that I was all bitchin, and worried that it was gonna feel all like a date. I often find myself worring for like, no reason at all.

Anyway, the game was fun, and post game was great.

*ahem*

Well, today was great. I had a good time, and whatnot. That, and I think it was a good start to me leaving the house again. This was the first time I had left the house in about 4 days.

Alright, I'm going to go. There's family guy in my apartment, and it needs attention.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Monday, Apr. 21, 2003 at around: 8:31 PM

Entertained, more pleasant and so on....

Hi, how ya doin?

I'm good. For a change. I got some good news today, and some bad news. Good news, my boyfriend isn't an asshole. Bad news, the fedral goverment doesn't play around when it comes to money.

Well... My boyfriend is an asshole, but not for reasons that I view as being negitive. I like him being the asshole, and that's that. But really, he's sweet. Rare are there people who truly give a damn, and that makes me feel good. Well, not that they're rare... Well, he makes me feel good. He makes me feel good, allll over. Yeah, I said it, and I meant it.

Let's go Black to the Future!

Marty McSuperfly is my hero, because all the honies want to be his sweet ass bitch. Hopefuly some chicks'll be my sweet ass bitch one day.

Yes, you've guessed it. I've been watching the Family Guy on DVD for the past two hours. No, I haven't come into money. None at all. Frank actually let me hold his DVDs. Yay for entertainment! I'm watching it now, and let me tell you, it's a lot easier to type without looking at the computer screen than one would imagine.

Well, I'm not really paying much attention to this entry, so I'm going to end it before I go without updating at all.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Sunday, Apr. 20, 2003 at around: 9:42 PM

No chocolate here-- Easter is ova!

Jello!

Yes, I meant to type jello. Jello is soothing, and tastes good. There's nothing like the refreshing feel of a nice bowl of orange jello. Mmmm.

Yes- you're right, I am strange.

So... Last night I was really bummed out. After I wrote that entry, I couldn't fall asleep or anything normal like that. I was a little on the bummed-out side. But every now and again, when you feel like shit, some cool person helps drag you out of that. A hero if you will? Okay, hero is a really strong word, but I was rescued from feeling like stir fried shit.

As I sat in front of my computer (as I've done for the last three stinking days LMAO) I was all bummed, and via IM and email, I was rescued from my stated of bummed-outocity. Let's just say that Frank is getting the hang of altering images. I laughed so damn hard I almost pissed myself.

I had to fight with my common sense on wheather I should have deleted those emails or not. Either way, Frank is a really funny guy. Boredom can be the insperation for good stuff, I says. *insert some random paragraph about how much my boyfriend kicks ass, and whatnot*

Anyway, Easter is almost over, and I hardly noticed it was here at all. I've done a whole hell of a lot of nothing.

Okay, that's all I have to say about that.

I also think that's going to be the end of this entry. I had written a more detailed entry earlier in the day, but for some reason diarlyand decided that particular entry wasn't worthy of posting to the database. Ah well. So is life.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Sunday, Apr. 20, 2003 at around: 2:19 AM

sleepyness makes for entries like this (and other words that end in 's')

Hi people,

Damnit, I can't sleep. The walls bother me, my cat is in heat, and I'm stressing out about nothing again. If any of you know where I can grab a chill pill, please let me know, because my own mind is going to eat me alive.

Or it could just be the lack of sleep talking.

So another day has ended, and I've done nothing. Nothing at all.

That's not so bad, I guess. Even though I didn't have any sort of desire to go anywhere, I had this urge to do things. I mulled around the house, because that's what one does when feeling like I did. Antsy, maybe? Here's hoping that I don't feel like this tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a holiday, if you're christian. I don't know what I am, so I'm not quite sure if tomorrow is a holiday for me. I'm also not quite sure if I have plans. Easter is one of those holidays that you're supposed to spend with your family, but I've alienated myself from my family so much that they don't feel like family.

I really shouldn't complain about this anymore, because nobody really has a real family unit anymore. The days of a mom, a dad, and a couple of kids are long gone. In my long life of very few years -heh- I've only had two friends who had both a mom and a dad in their house, without threat of divorce.

My friends have always been my family, and now more than ever, because they're actualy a part of my every day life. Don't get me wrong, my mom is family. She's a good person in there, even if she exudes nothing but assholishness all the time. That is really easy to forget, though. I wish that we could be the family we were when I was a little girl. Sometimes I think I just screwed it up. Maybe it isn't my fault. I don't want to blame anyone, because familes do just seperate, but my mom is so hard to peg down. She'll be this great mom on days like today, and then she'll start acting all psycho.

Can I catch a break here? Please?

I guess in the long run, everything is okay. I'm not homeless -yet- and somehow I'm able to eat every day. I haven't had a paycheck in over three weeks, but somehow I eat every day, and have stuff left over to feed my cat. Looking for a job is getting harder and harder, because I don't know where else to look. Maybe I'll find a newspaper tomorrow.

It's not great, but I'm doing okay. Honest.

Frank is doing okay too. I spoke to him on the phone earlier for a little bit. He had a grand day of nothing as well. I don't know what to do sometimes, man. He has to be feeling some type of way too, and he's stressing out over all these little things. I really want him to be happier, but there's nothing I can do 'cept just be me. Here's hoping that I can accomplish that.

Besides, Frank is smarter than I am, which as you all know is quite a feat. That, and he's a young white male aged 18 to 35. If that's not a gift from the powers that be, I don't know what is. Seriously though, I don't have much faith these days, but I have tons of faith in him.

*laughs* I am such a dork sometimes.

Anyway, my cat is humping my sholder. I'm worried about her, because I'm pretty sure being horny like that all the time sucks. Eventually I think I might get her spayed. I don't want to, at all, though. Koi has never been to the vet, for many reasons. Aside from the fact that I'm not fond of what goes down at animal hospitals, I don't like being pressured into surgery.

Jesus Christ!! My cat is trying to eat my hair.

She does that to Frank all the time. It's funny, but I really wish she wouldn't do that to him. The poor guy gets hurrassed every time he comes over. Koi will climb up on his neck and sholders, and start licking his face, licking his hair, chewing on his beard -if it's grown in, or not- and basically makes a chew-toy out of my boyfriend. Poor Frank.

The lord of the rings isn't helping me relax and sleep.... I'm going to go in my room and count sheep or something.

Love and adoration

Pammie :-D

Written, Saturday, Apr. 19, 2003 at around: 2:39 PM

Lockdown!

It's wakey-wakey time!

Having gotten some rest into my system, I think I am now prepared to update on the stuff that I mentioned below. You know, the stuff about my lack of sleep last night, why my allergies are whoopin my ass, and that my mom is not always so bad.

Well, lets do this!

Last night, Crazian John called me. His cousins from New Jersey had come by to hang out for the weekend, and they didn't know what to do or where to go. They came over here, because this is the only place in south philly where you can eat, drink, and catch a movie without a cover charge. They were only here for like an hour and a half, but it seemed like they enjoyed being somewhere that wasn't their home. John ordered cheessteaks for everyone, drank various beverages, and we watched Van Wilder.

Van Wilder is a very funny movie. Like our generation's answer to animal house or something. *laughs* That almost sounds like thousands of people my age just shouted out, "Animal House?" and National Lampoon went ahead and tossed a bunch of Van Wilder DVDs at us all. "Ow! One hit me in the nads!"

I digress.

So they chill here breifly. Since John isn't stupid, he realized that I'd want to go to sleep at some point. That, and they were getting a ride home from The Sister Crazian. So 12:30 hits, and they call Emilyn (Sister Crazian) to get their leave on. When they were leaving, I wanted to walk out with them, because I wanted to see/meet John's sister. So I followed them out of my apartment, closing my top door, because I didn't want my cat running outside behind us only to run into the street and turn into a Chineese Pancake. Yeah, I said it.

John talks about his sister all the time, and I've heard from many people, including the boyfriend, that she's very pretty. All the tales are true, ladies and gentlemen. sister crazian, is adorable. She's like twenty something, but she's really, really cute, like a doll or something. She has a little girl, too. I've seen a picture of her daughter... It was a long time ago. She is just as, if not more, damn cute.

I digress 2: The sequel.

So, I meet the sister of the Crazian, and wave goodbye to the departing asians. I walked back into my apartment building and said hi to my neigbor, and her cousin. Then I reached for the doorknob of my apartment. *insert dramatic music here* It was locked. Okaaaay... I checked my pockets, *insert increasingly dramatic music* no keys. I know I didn't lock that lock, because I was only stepping downstairs for a little while. Damnit! Fuck! Shit face cockmaster!!

I didn't even have my cellphone on me. It was quite a sorrid state of affairs, I tells you. So my neigbor hands me the phone, and her cousin encourages me to call 911. She tried to come up with a good lie, but I felt guilty bringing out a bunch of emergency people to break into my house. Even if I told the truth, I knew they wouldn't help me, because they didn't help me the last time I locked myself out of the entire buildng. I shook my fist. So, as my neigbor and her cousin left, I just rested my head on my door, and every now and again, checked to see if it was really locked.

It was locked every damn time.

So I sat in the stairwell for a while, and went to sleep. That was perhaps the most uncomfortable sleep I've experinced in years. So, while I sat there, awake, I tried to think of who I could call to help me. Thinking of people to call at that point was kind of stupid, because I didn't have any change, or a cellular phone on me, so I couldn't really call anyone. So instead, I imagined calling people.

"Hi Mom? I need your help." .... "Yeah, I'm locked out!" .... "Hi Frank, how are you?" .... "Good... hey, you'll never believe what happened! I hate Crazian people!" .... "Hey John, what's up?" .... "Yeah, you locked me out of my apartment, Crazian!!" Aperently holding your hand with the pinky and thumb extended gives you the ablity to hold three conversations at once. No matter how much I tried talking into my pinky finger, I never got a response.

Anyway, my neigbor came back home, and she let me use her phone. It was about 4 am at this point, and I called the only person that I didn't really mind bothering at that time of day. Mom! She said she'd come down to my apartment at around 8 in the morning, and help me bust into the joint. My neighbor was even nice enough to let me sleep on the floor in her apartment, so I could strech out, and put my head on a pillow.

She has two cats. Both of them are long-haired persians, and they come with extra dander at no additional cost. They're nice cats and everything, but they made me a little sick. I sneezed for hours after I left her apartment.

A few hours ago, John called again, and asked me to go with him and his cousins to center city. I told him that I was trying to catch up on some rest, and told him this story. At that point, he admitted to locking my damn door. "Yeah, I think it was me." ... "You Jerk!" ... "Sorry! It was a reflex!" ... "I'm going back to sleep." ... "Alright, later."

Phone conversations aren't as funny when there really is someone on the other end of the line.

I think we all learned a very important lesson today. Never allow more than one member of Crazian John's family over your house, even if they say it's only going to be for a little while.

Well, that was quite a story. I think I'm going to call my boyfriend and see what he's up to today. I bet Frank wouldn't lock me out of my apartment. ..."No, I'm not bitter at all" ...

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Saturday, Apr. 19, 2003 at around: 9:09 AM

A fuzzy quickie

Dude,

Okay, all I have to say right now is that, 1. I'm still very allergic to cats-- Just not shorthaired ones. 2. My mom is good for something, and 3. I haven't gotten any damn sleep.

I would like to get into detail of why I've stated all these things, but at the moment, I'm really exausted. I just needed a second to vent. Pet dander can be a bitch. My allergies started kicking up a couple of days ago. They aren't showing any signs of calming down until the months that end in the -ember suffix show up again.

I'll give a more detailed entry later on, I prommise. Whatever I write should prove to be very interesting, trust me. The past few hours of my life have been kind of funny, at least in the third person POV.

Oooh, the suspense!

I'm a little mad that I was jonesing for the damn family guy episodes earlier today. Jesus, it's 9am and I can say that things happened eariler today. I don't like the morning time, and it don't like me. That's how it's gonna stay, see?

Well, I'm really beat, so I'm going to wash my hands of forigen kitty fur, and go to bed.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Friday, Apr. 18, 2003 at around: 5:46 PM

I got entry, Yay!

Hello,

Be glad that you guys are getting your update now, and not like, four hours ago. It'd really suck if you got this angsty email that looks like a bad journal entry. I mean, who would do something so dorky?

Oh wait...

Anyway.. Hi! I haven't updated since yesterday afternoon, so I suppose I have some filling in to do for ya'll. Well, at the moment I'm feeling pretty good. I worked some more on my other journal today. If you really want to read it, that's too bad, because I'm giving out the URL on a "I would like you to read it" basis. Nobody has it yet, so don't feel left out until the end of next week when all the cool people are reading it and you aren't.

I like being mean sometimes.

Yesterday was an interesting day, to say the least. I spent the entire day in the house. The beginning of the day was spent really bored, and doing a lot of sleeping. Sleep is good, trust me. You should try it sometime. After a while, I grew tired of sleeping (ha ha) and I hopped my ass online. I fucked with this journal, and the new one as well. Maybe that's how one would define, "Traffic Whore" ... naw, I define that in Squirrel X. Am I the only person on diaryland who is really dissapointed every time you see a cool banner, click it, and it brings you to Squirlly? Jesus. Anyway, back to yesterday-- I also made online talky-talky with the boyfriend.

I spoke to said boyfriend, and invited him over. I like to see him face to face every now and then, because it's weird trying to hump my cellphone, even though it does vibrate. Wait... um... nevermind. So, he came over. Yay! I'm always happy to spend time with him. So Frank comes over, and he brought his new DVD set with him. The Family Guy A very funny show.

Where else can you get a Malchvailan baby, a talking dog, and laugh out loud humor, every episode? Not on The Cosby Show, I'll tell you that, friends. Brian, the talking dog, is really funny. He has a drinking problem. Who woulda thunk it? Stewie, the evil baby, is by far my favorite out of all the crazy people on the show. They're all equally loveable, but Stewie kicks ass. Here, look at a picture. Ain't he cute?

"Woe to the fool who speaks of this day!"

Yeah.

Anyway, Frank and I spent most of the evening watching the Family Guy together. We laughed, and asked rethorical questions like, "Why is the dog drinking a martini?" and, "Why did Abe Lincon have Jungle Feavor?" That was a great investment of our collective time. You should go watch the family guy too, it's where it's at! *insert a picture of me grinning, with two thumbs up*

I also hat the opportunty to meet one of Frank's long-time friends, Liza. She is so nice. We started talking, and kinda didn't stop. She and I laughed, and talked a whole bunch. I like her a lot, and I'd really like to be her friend.

Then later that night, after Frank drove Liza home, and came back here... *cough*
Yup. You know what happened. *Grin* For shizzle, nizzle. You know how we dizzle.

That would be the Shizzle, dizzle. Oh, and in case you were wondering, My Goddamn Rock Solid Ghetto Shiznit Name is "Ass Machine Shizzlemah" If you're curious as to what your Goddamn Rock Solid Ghetto Shiznit Name is, just go

here and all of your worries will be alievaited.

I'm here to help.
Well, that and to laugh when you fall.

Oh, my god, why is it that every time that I go somewhere with Crazian John, I do something really embarrasing?? I've laughed and spit accross the table at a diner, Farted really loud at a pizza shop, and I'm always tripping over something. Today, I almost busted my ass walking into rite-aid with the guy. He's a really good friend, because I was bitching all afternoon, but homeboy was there for me. Go John. I'm glad he gets humor out of it, because sometimes I wonder if he's planted three sixes on the back fo my head.

Yeah, I said it, did I st-st-st-stutter?

Alright, I wrote enough. I'll update again later.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Thursday, Apr. 17, 2003 at around: 5:00 PM

um... yeah

Hi,

I was fucking around with another diary this afternoon when I accidentally changed my layout.

Whoops.

So now we've got stacy to the left, and she's looking pretty nice. I think she can stay for a while.

I would like to say that I've done something today, but that would force me to weave a lie, for nothing's happened today. That's not bad at all, because I haven't felt like doing anything. Occasionally it's delightfully comfortable to do nothing with yourself, and I enjoy being delightfully comfortable.

Mostly, I thought about what I'll do once I have my refund check in my hand. Nothing too exciting, just pay my rent, and some of my bills. That sounds really nice to me though. More than anything, I'd really like to start my damn job. This job teases me with the sentual notion of a paycheck, however they keep tugging it back everytime it comes within my grasp.

Fuckers.

Well, I don't have much else to say... expect a better update later on.

L&A

Pam

Written, Thursday, Apr. 17, 2003 at around: 12:07 PM

virtual construction

Please bear with me while I fix this page, guys.

Love and adoration

Pam