Why the fuck did I come to work today

Ah fuck,

Pop-pop is now underneath thirty six cubic inches of dirt, next to a huge, beautiful tree. The cemetery he bought the plot in is really nice, and the tree is beautiful. John Wanamaker is buried there.

Totally shouldn�t have come in to work today. It�s really crazy here. People in mom�s department are starting to get the boot, which means mom may be unemployed soon. That�s just too much for her right now. In the past two weeks, she�s been really �sick,� her dad died, and now there�s the looming understanding that she�s might not have a job next week. How unfair is that?

Somehow she�s getting through it without freaking out, which is a huge step for her. She�s an uber-emotional person, and will start getting terribly upset over little things, because there are so many fucked up big things always in the way. It�s so sad, things never seem to work out okay for her. Her first husband was a jerk who liked to play Hide and Go Seek, her second husband died terribly young, and now her dad is dead. That�s so shitty.

Plus she has me for a daughter, which is always a nice little roller coaster.

Meanwhile, here in the office, everything is bonkers. The higherups are talking about firing everyone in mom�s department except for two people, which sucks huge, smelly, hairy balls. There�s a lot of good, hardworking people back there. It�s upset that mom might not have a job soon, because how is she gonna get money? She hasn�t been employed here long enough to get unemployment, so she can�t collect the cash. It�s so sad. The best I can do is be there for her emotionally, and offer her my financial support... which equates to a whole lot of not much.

So now what?

I don�t know. Optimisim is fading swiftly over here, and that sucks aformentioned smelly hairy balls. Among things that don�t quite suck hairy balls, karaoke is tonight. Thank god. I have like, seven dollars to spend, but I�ma go anyway. I need to do something outside of the house that doesn�t involve the feeling of hairy balls.

Several people said they were interested in hitting up some karaoke, so it�ll be a group effort. That�s good for karaoke virgins.. and I expect a couple will be in attendance of tonights festivities. Yay!

The week ahead is looking like a busy one. There�s a fitting for a modeling show, karaoke, and Illy�s going away party. There will aperently not be a trip to baltimore included this weekend. Otakon was the orignal plan for one day (either sat or sun) but since saturday will be party infested (illy�s going away party, and a potential block party) no trip for me. Sunday is the last re-shoot for Love Hurts, the movie that I assisted in directing and starred in. That means I get motherfucking p a i d!

Hells yeah bitch, I�m ready for my motherfucking movie check.

After I get that money, I can pay off the remainder of my house and phone related bills, and just worry about the non-shutoff inducing bills. Yay! I�m very excited. Hopefully I�ll be able to use some of my money for expensive and important unnessasary things, such as trips out of the city, and visits to the zoo and aquarium.

Yay! I�m really excited. No shit. Look at me, I�m excited! Well, you can�t see, because I don�t have a webcam but here, look: *_* <---- that�s the face of an excited young woman.

Health insurance is in full effect, meaning that I can finally have the gyn appooitnment of my dreams. Wholy fucking shit, I�m going to have birth controll!! Yeah! Woo!

Okay, I�m going to go now, as it�s 5:00, and I can�t bear to be here any longer. I�ll work harder tomorrow, I prommise. Today was difficult.

Love and adoration,

Pam