A serious entry. Well, sorta.

Lu lui, vous pourrait l'aimer.

Yes, I am now obsessed with bablefish. They translate whatever I say into about 8 common languages. Ha! I can cuss someone out in a foreign language, and never have to look it up!

Pourquoi n'embrassez-vous pas mon �ne?

Perch� non baciate il mio asino?

Warum nicht k�ssen Sie meinen Esel?

Por qu� usted no besa mi asno?

Ha. So many languages. So many hidden insults.

Anyway, Glenn was over again last night. I love him staying over. I wish I wasn't so damn tired when I got home from work, but that's just a part of the territory. Being tired is a part of my life. Well, at least when Glenn is over. He keeps me up until all hours of the night. Not like that's a bad thing, or anything. I just wish I didn't have to wake up before 10 to go to work. Ah, so is life, ne? Se la vive!

I'm worried about daath. We haven't sent each other emails in a hot minute. I think it's just because he's been busy, and I haven't had much time to myself other than at home, and I'm too lazy to send emails when I get home, because I'd have to deal with mail packages such as hotmail, yahoo, or perhaps Japan mail. Feh, screw that. I like sending people email from my work address.

What, did you expect me to post that here? *snort* I get enough Spam at this address. Anyway.... I hope daath is doing alright.

I'm feeling rather hum drum at the moment, and I think that has something to do with the fact that it's time to replace my birth control pills. Any guys who read my diary must be so totally tired of reading about that shit. Oh well, too bad. Deal with it. It's my diary. I can be mean here if I like. But you know what? I'm not mean here. I don't say half of the things that I think about and don't tell anyone about. They all stay inside. This diary is a nice recap of some of the stuff that I don't have anyone to tell it to. Like, I have lots of friends, and I can speak to some of them about certain subjects. Like, I can talk to Latrice about hot guys. I can talk to Leighann about astrology. I can talk to Wil about random acts of the word fuck. I can talk to Glenn about most things, but I don't want to tell him about himself.

You have to be different to everyone if you want to be liked. It's the truth. I learned this ages ago, and some people don't seem to realize it. Some people don't like to have their ass kissed, others won't give you the time of day without a precursor compliment. I know how to go about this, and make everyone my friend. Sometimes I compromise myself in the process, but I guess that's all a part of the game. Someone has to pretend to be the willing victim. I guess that's me sometimes?

I still don't know what my "gift" is. Like a few months ago, I was wondering what the hell I was living for. I just sit around like a silly lump, going to work everyday, and go about living. I don't know why that's such a big deal. I mean, what am I accomplishing? I guess I'll feel better about myself when I'm older and have children. I really feel like that's my point for living, but it seems as though it's so far away. *sigh* One day I'll have kids, and my life will be totally different. I'll have a family and I will finally find out what it's like to completely devote myself to something. I am a real slacker. Like, I have a very piddely kind of work ethic. I do it when I get around to it. That has often gotten me in trouble. I haven't had a job that I really cared about before. This job is important to me, because I get paid very well for my efforts. I don't, however, really care.

I know how I operate. I need someone to impress to do a good job. I don't really give a damn about what I do. Other people's opinions are very important to me. If that makes me sound lame, you're probabaly right. I live my life for my friends and who I consider to be my family (mostly friends.) I can't do much for myself. I mean, even the playstation2 I bought mostly because I knew that Glenn wanted to play on it. If it were just for me, I probably would have bought clothes and just drooled over the playstations in the window of Game Stop. So see, that's a good example. I wanted a playstation for me. I wanted to watch DVD's (which I've been doing a lot lately-- I bought Addams Family Values, one of my favorite movies, I watched it last night... Yea!) Anyway, I got dvds and some games. I like it very much, but I wouldn't have gotten it if I were to be the only one playing it. I have two controllers for a reason. I don't like to be alone. I don't like being ignored, and I desire nothing more to be acknowledged. Is that too much to ask? Maybe I'm too selfish.

Maybe I'm being too serious. This has been a serious entry. I think it's time to stop now, and get back to work, because I'm seriously slacking right now. :-P

Love and adoration,

Pam

Mata ne.