I made some dinner and stuff

Well the entry I wrote yesterday was very ugly. I don't give enough of a fuck to edit it, so it'll stay the way it is, and this will be a nice band-aid for the time being.

So, how are you? Good! Glad to hear it! Yeah, I'm nuts. I made dinner for Glenn last night. I really love cooking for him. I like taking care of him. I'm such a mom. I made Fettuccini Alfredo, and he gobbled it down. Now, I love to feed him, but I have a couple of pet peeves. It really bugs me when people attempt to eat directly out of the pot. Grrrr. He does that because he knows it bugs me. He doesn't just like, pick some stuff out of the pot, he takes the whole damn pot and walks away from the stove, pot in hand.

I could strangle him.

But I don't because I love him, and it's not that big of a deal. He also accidentally broke one of my special blue and white plates a while ago. This was about a month or two ago. I bought this plate, bowl, and mug set from Ikea when I was about 17, and rearing to move out of my mom's house. They were among the few things that I knew for a fact that I could take with me when I moved out of her house. He felt kind of bad about it, and it wasn't even like it broke. It just chipped. So as I was about to drearily throw it out, he said, "No, I want to eat off of it." I was like ... Huh? He wanted it to be the "Special Glenn Plate." That it is. No one else is allowed to eat off of that plate but him. I don't even eat off of it.

You're probably thinking one of two things. 1: "You two are too damn cute. I hate you." or perhaps 2:"You're both nuts and should be beaten with a huge mallet containing some common sense." Ah, yeah. Well, he's a sweetie. He comes to visit me, and that really makes me happy. Even though sometimes I get really tired of seeing him (I get like that with everyone who breathes) I love him. I really couldn't imagine not having him in my life. Even if a day comes when we don't want to be in a relationship anymore (which I'm beginning to think may never come... That's getting scary... Marriage? AAAHHH! RUN!) I think we'd still be able to be friends. That says a lot for him. Not for me, really. I'm friends with a lot of people who did me wrong. *insert my belly-laugh here*

He's like my partner. I help him, he helps me. I am having an issue with him right now and it's driving me nuts. I want him to be the "Man" of the relationship and start making decisions, taking charge, and whatnot. I feel like the mom, the boyfriend and the dad. Damn, I have some issues. I don't really think it's as big a deal as I'm making it out to be, but when I experience something it always seems to be this huge fucking deal, and then it's over with and I'm like, "boy, I overreacted."

Yeah well, I've learned a lot about myself through having this diary. I can look back and notice my mood swings, see myself go through serious episodes of insanity, and laugh. I understand myself a lot better. Like, I never really noticed how badly I need attention. I also seem to have this problem with rejection. It's sad, really. If Glenn doesn't give me any attention for more than a week and a half, I start thinking that he hates me. I also start thinking that he's automatically going to dump me. But that's just the way he escapes. I'm cool for a couple of days, but he has to get away. I don't blame him, it's human. I really respect the fact that he'd rather be away from me than to be around me and end up fighting horribly.

Even though I'd rather not fight in the short term, I really miss yelling at people. See, my mom is -very- emotional, and I was raised by a screaming nutty nut bag. I guess I miss it to a certain extent. Mostly I don't, though.

Here's a fun quote to make your bellies quiver with delight:

Ong: i was having this great dream with this really hot chick

Ong: and i started going down on her..and while we were doing that, her husband was getting me a cheese burger

And that was a fun quote to make your belly quiver.

And this is me ending this entry.

Word.

Love and adoration,

Pam