2/3rd day at work

Hi everyone, it�s lunch time!!

A few realizations to start this entry off for ya- Number one: My boyfriend is a really nice person, and a complete oxymoron for numerous reasons. This pleases me. Number two: Shutupmom.diaryland.com is even funnier when you read the all caps text and imagine her high-pitched voice saying the words really fucking loud. Number three: I�m going to an audition today for a tv show that I might not be able to attend the taping of if I�m selected. (d�oh!) Number four: Today is a 2/3rd day for me but I�ve done more work so far today than I have any other 3/3rd day since I�ve been working here full time. Number five: I really like that baby picture of me. I was a cute baby. Can you imagine that baby with a tattoo on her lower back? I�m trying to do just that. Number six: I

Anyway, last night the object (isn�t that a really stale word to use for a person? I�m going to start making an effort to stray away from clieshes) of my affection (Frank... my boyfriend... keep up with me here) almost got on my nerves a couple of times. Since he makes me laugh (and I�m all hyperactive, ADD and whatnot) I didn�t really focus on it. Plus, I just can�t stay upset with the man. He�s too nice of a person, and doesn�t do anything that really makes me upset. I find that kinda funny, because he�s always trying to tell me that he�s not. Whatever, I�ve known the guy for almost like two years or something, and he�s been nothing but nice. Well... Yeah, nothing but nice, except for that one time.

He�s never really pissed me off... that I can remember at the moment... so that�s cool. I�ve been upset by his actions a couple of times, but that really anything that I would stay upset about. Plus, they�re just words right? That has long been my opinion regarding dealing with other humans. They�ll say a lot of stuff, but it won�t really bother you if you�re just thinking, �It�s just a bunch of words in a row....� The point here is that I was on the verge of being miffed, but I had no appropriate verbal response.

How frustrating!

When in person, I can retaliate by physically bugging him, or looking at him or something, but on the phone I�m practically defenseless! Unfair! Injustice! Damnit! I don�t believe in hanging up on people; that�s just outright rude. I�m usually defenseless because I don�t really like making fun of him. Like, I�ll swear at him, and call him names from time to time. Isn�t that what all relationships are built upon? No?... oh, yeah. That�s fun, and laughable, but that�s about where it stops for me. Occasionally I�ll just copy his style of correcting my conversation and use it on him.

He doesn�t seem to like that very much.

I feel bad, because he�s such a sweet person, and I have no desire to start picking on him. Like I say some pretty mean shit to my other male friends, but none of them are as nice as frank is. (Sorry guys, you aren�t) Yeah, we all have double standards, don�t we?

Anyway, this all stemmed from something that I wrote in yesterday�s entry. The whole frank = picard = manipulative language artist = if you want to have you way, walk away or kill �em. Well, when we spoke last night, he was kind of miffed himself about that. I can understand, who wants to hear death threats about yourself on your girlfriend�s web page? I felt bad. Damn him and his guilt trips. My whole thing is that he�s just like a little kid... you can say a million and twelve nice things, but they�ll remember the mean thing -that was probably a joke- until they�re thirty.

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with Liza about child behavior. She reminded me of something very, very true. Kids who are Kindergarten age are just starting to come out of an egocentric state... nobody else�s feelings but their own are important to them. Plus, they haven�t developed empathy for how their actions effect other people, particularly their peers. So Jamie will put a booger on Sally and laugh. Yet, when Sally turns around and she decides to put a booger on Jamie, he�ll cry. How cute!

Maybe from now on, whenever we�re on the phone and Frank starts to get on my nerves, I�m just going to go, �Aww, you�re so damn handsome,� or something before he makes the follow-up joke. Hopefully he�ll be flattered and that�d be the end of whatever was getting on my nerves. That, or I�ll wait until I see him and put a booger on him.

Hey, some of us are more out of the closet with our childishness than others.

The moral of the story (there was a story?) is that although he gets on my nerves sometimes (and when he does, it takes some real effort), he�s still an amazing person. And I bet you a dollar that he�ll remember my saying that he pisses me off and not that I said he was an amazing person and a buncha other nice things.

And he says he�s old. Feh.

In other news, I�m going to New York today for that MTV audition. I�m really excited! I practiced last night. I think I look pretty good, and sound even better. I�ve lost a lot of weight since MTV last saw me, and I�ve been working out too. I�ve also had singing lessons, and a work ethic about practicing.

Oh! I�m so pissed!! I dialed my home number to check my phone messages, and I got a �This number has been disconnected� message. Fuck. I just paid some money to the telephone people the last time before last that I had money, and they turned my phone off! Well, in defense of the phone company, I didn�t pay the whole bill or anything, but I really didn�t expect them to turn off my phone. They didn�t send me a letter in the mail, or give me a phone call, or anything!

Shit, that means that I�m not going to have a house phone until at least next friday, because I haven�t enough money to pay off the remainder of that bill in my pocket. Goddamnit. Well, at least my cell phone is on. Every time that things start running smoothly for me, I always get a damn bump in the road the size of a dead hog, still twitching. This whole having two phones stuff is a little out of hand. I have a prepaid cellphone which I pay over 85 bucks a month for, and I have a land line, which costs up to 40 bucks a month.

I need a monthly Cellular bill.

Well, that was quick. I had a lovely conversation with a young woman from Cingular Wireless, and she�s going to be sending a cell phone and a bill to my home. Whaddya know. The only problem with this is that although the FCC has approved the portability of cellular phone numbers, no company (not even AT&T) fully supports portability. So I got a new number, which kind of pisses me off.

There are scores of people who only know to contact me via my current cell number, and it�d really suck if they called it, only to find out that I don�t use it anymore. I guess I�ll pay 10 bucks a month to keep it on until I can switch the number or something. That�ll also be a pain in the ass. Oh, why ya gotta go and make things so complicated?

Oh well, I�m glad that I�ll have a cellphone bill again. It�ll be much nicer than paying a hundred and some odd dollars for phone service that doesn�t offer me long distance calling.

Well, I�m going to go. You all have a great afternoon, a great tomorrow, and some comfy, restful sleep in-between the two. :-)

Love and adoration,

Pam