No vacations and no sex make pam go something something....

www.holdthebutton.com <--- Attribute any future addictions to holding your mouse button down to Alli. her email address is [email protected], and I warn you, she owns sharp objects.

In other news, I'm starting to calm down some. I'm not feeling completley healed-- that process won't really begin until november 4th, remember? Well, anyway, I'm still living in this weird haze, but at least now I have a clearer vision of what's real and what isnt. Wow, I really do sound like I am on drugs or have lost my mind.

I'm seriously not myself. How do I know this? Several reasons why I know I'm freaking out:

1. My appitite has seriously diminished.
2. My sex drive is like, kaput-- I haven't been excruciatningly horny like I usually am. I haven't been masturbating for christ sake!!! But... I know I wanna have sex.
3. I've had no/little attraction to my own gender, which is like a shocker to me-- As an adult, I've never looked at a girl with nice breasts and a pretty face and just seen a girl.
4. My oral fixation hasn't really spoken to me in a few weeks, excluding the desire to chew gum. That's a shocker.
5. On the day I took off from work, I didn't leave the house at all, on purpose. I'm not usually a stay in the house chick.
6. I've been crying. I used to not cry-- unless it was a big huge heartbreaking ordeal. I didn't even really cry when in pain. Now, I'm on the verge of crying if I see a dead animal on the side of the road. Fuck that.
7. I've been seriously focusing on the negitive.
8. I'm whiny.
9. I haven't been on a vacation for almost a year and a half. A year and A half.

Well, we'll see about all this. Go click that damn button, and have yourself some fun.

Love and adoration,

pam