I don't want a lot for Christmas.

Yeah, I'm feeling better.

Turns out, there was only one thing that I needed... Sleep is really good for that sort of thing.

Anyway.

My boyfriend has been sick for pretty much the same period of time that I've been sick. That makes me feel really rotten. It also makes me imagine that it's my fault that he's sick. That's the worst feeling in the world, man. I want him to get better. Poor Frank, he didn't leave work early today, because his vacation time is distributed differently than how my job just pours it out on ya.

:-(

But it's Christmas time, so yay for him! :-)

Okay, as you can see by the layout I actually give a damn about Christmas this year. After a few select hum-dingers of christmases, I have kind of a take it or leave it (EXCEPT FOR THE GIFT GIVING, DAMNIT! I'M AMERICAN AND I LIKE TO BUY PRESENTS! I'M ALSO A GIRL, AND I LIKE TO GET GIRLY PRESENTS... LIKE JEWLERY! Subtle enough?) view on Christmas. You can blame that damn-giving on the aformentioned sickly boyfriend by the name of Frank. His enthusiasim for the holiday season has encouraged me to get into the season. That, and all I've listened to for the past week and a half has been christmas music. God help me. I'm not like decorating my apartment yet or anything-- I don't have enough stuff to do that yet. I might not have enough stuff to do that until after Thanksgiving.

Hey, are you familiar with that WHAM song, Last Christmas? No? Well, here are the lyrics. I never really paid attention to the lyrics, 'cept when I heard certain parts sung aloud... until I unintentionally downloaded a version of the song sung by no other than Hillary Duff. Wholy jolly jailbait, batman. Anyway, so I check out the lyrics, right? Wow, what a sad song. There are a whole lot of sad songs around christmas... like this one song, "Christmas shoes?" I can't listen to that song without feeling like I'm going to cry. It's about this kid who's going to get a pair of shoes for his/her dead mommy/daddy because they need shoes to see jesus in heaven. OH my GOD. How sad!! I cry every time I hear it.

No wonder I can't get into the fucking holiday season, here I think it's about "cheer," "joy," and that kinda shit. It's really about depressing seasonal music and not getting what you want when you open up your gifts. Greedy bastards. I'm always happy just to get presents at all, dude. Make my wish come true.

All I want for christmas is you.

My favorite part of when Hillary Duff sings "last christmas" is when she sings the line "You tore it apart/Ooo ooo," that makes me LAUGH, because I'm sure when they gave her the lyric sheet she was like, "ooo ooo? Are you kidding me?" Unless she was already familiar with the song, which would totally change how that story would go.

So, okay there's that song, which I'm much more fond of the hillary duff brand of, but whatever. I'm a fan of Britney Spears' recordings- circa 1999, so I'm no judge on taste, okay? Then there are my favoritest christmas songs: Jingle bell rock, rockin around the christmas tree, and my orignial favorite: All I want for christmas is you. I love that song so much, because last year, that was really my theme song.

Sad.

I'm convinced that all you need to turn a normal love song into a christmas song, you just have to have some sleigh bells jingiling in the backround, and some guy playing the triangle. As far as lyrics, you can have a christmasy chourus, but the verses could be cookie cutter love song lyrics. So instead of- for instance- Justin saying "Seniorita I feel for you/you deal with things that you don't have to" He could just say, "Saint nick I feel for you/You deal with the naughty list and the good kids too" and let the rest of the song stay the same. He doesn't even have to change the damn instrumental, because Senorita has bells, and a beat that was just meant to be rocked out in a one horse sleigh.

Am I wrong?

OH shit, and at the end of the song, where he goes, All the fellas say: "It feels like somethings heating up can I leave with you" All the ladies say: "I don't know why I'm thinkin' bout really leavin' with you" He could flip it around so he'd go, All the fellas say: "It feels like Christmas is coming soon can I leave with you" Uh, now Ladies say: "I don't know why christmas makes me think about really sleeping with you."

Okay, I'm done.

Voices singing lets be jolly, deck the halls with big huge balls of Halle!

hearts and butterflies,

pam

Written, Thursday, Nov. 13, 2003 at around: 1:35 PM

Rockin around male puberty

Is it just me or does Brenda Lee (the woman who sings the orignal version of "Rockin' around the christmas tree") sound like a 12 year old boy?

Listen to the song before you call me crazy.

hearts and butterflies

pam

Written, Thursday, Nov. 13, 2003 at around: 12:10 PM

There's a balloon in my sinus cavity

I'm not dead.

You people can wish all you want, but the palm lady told me I'm living for a realy long time. She also said I'd have a long healthy life. What the fuck ever dude. I'm still really fucking sick. I haven't felt well in days, and I may go home early today.

Poor Kim "F as in Frank A B as in boy A I N as in Nancy O" Fabaino. Not too long ago she was on the phone with someone, totally freaking out. She's having a really rough day today, and I feel bad for her. She has this serious project to do, and everyone is pushing her really hard. (Shh, don't tell anyone, but she cried on the phone.) I wanna walk over there and tell her it'll be okay, but I don't even know the girl, and before today I wanted to share some sharp, yet condisending words with her.

The poor girl.

I'm just wasting time until it's time for me to leave. I'm not staying all day today-- I'm leaving early... half day today. I'm still really sick. You can't tell by reading my typing, but if you spoke to me you'd be like, "Girl, you sound like shit, go home." In fact, people have been saying "Pam you LOOK like shit," all week long, and today was the first day that I decided being in the bed would be better than being at work.

Ick... Yeah, let me get ready to leave.

hearts and butterflies,

pam