Sexy lovely... My relationship isn't bad after all.q

Hey there folks...

I haven't been updating, because I really haven't felt like it. I've been to busy actually living life, as opposed to just observing it. Glenn and I are doing well. In fact our relationship is at another one of the peaks. What's a peak? It's when he and I are all lovey-dovey, and everything is great. That happens more often than not with our relationship. The problem is that when things are bad for us, they're so horrible.

If only I could bottle weeks like this and just open them up when glenn decides that it's time to give me the silent treatment. Yes, I'm dating a woman trapped in a horny male's body. I love him though, and I honestly wouldn't trade him in for anyone else. I'm really fickle with our relationship ( and you can find out more about this by just reading my diary in cronological order: love, hate, love disdain, utter devotion, questioning my sexuality all together.) Well, at any rate, I love him more often than I hate him, and I believe that if he could get over some of his personal issues with jelousy, our relationship would be so much better.

Problem there is that I believe that I could love him forever, be his wife, bear his children... but he'd get jelous if I hugged one of my male friends, and not say anything to me for a month. I don't really want that. I do want the whole wife, bearing, forever thingy, but I don't want to be subject to the conditions of this relationship when it goes foul. I haven't the time for that.

What I do have time for, is his devotion to me. He's really a good boyfriend, and I don't think that many observers of my relationship are aware of this. He and I share a bond that I really haven't seen in many other non-married relationships. I'm still pretty afraid of marrige though. I believe that the only thing that will make me be un-afraid of marrige would be if glenn proposed to me. Then I think I could handle it, because I know if he proposed, then he'd be full into it.

I once considered proposing to him at some point. Then I changed my mind, because I want to be proposed to. I want to be the girl. I want to be cute and frilly, and be waited on hand and foot, simply because of my gender. But the thing is, I don't know if I really like that sort of thing. Oh whatever. I have a headache, and I have a boyfriend to seduce. ;-)

My love and adoration,

Pam