Double Entry Monday!

Okay... rant time.

They haven't kicked me off yet, so I'm going to make an attempt at bitching about something. You can take a deep breath because this isn't any kind of subtle boyfriend refrence-- poor Frank's ears are burning, and hopefully it's not because of his cold-- nor is it regarding any of you people (yes, you people, lol) with whom I am aquainted outside of the glowing box with the green chips inside.

Why the hell are people so goddamn rude? I mean, when I'm out, I really try to be a nice person. If I bump into someone I say excuse me. If I step on your foot, I'll tell you that I'm sorry. If I grab a girl's ass, I tell her I didn't mean it (wheather I did or not). What the hell happened to kindess and respect??

Realistically, I know good and well that people aren't nice. Everyone goes throughout their day, and one negitive at 8am can turn a good day to shit within an hour. We've all had those days where we woke up, and couldn't find our keys or just couldn't get our hair right, and it was the beginning of a chain of pissed-offedness.

I have one of those days every time I have to wake up before 12pm, eastern standard time. I don't however, take that out on strangers or my friends, whenever possible. This is because I don't wanna make anyone else's day any shittier, because that bitch on the bus stepped on their foot, and didn't have the chutzpah to say, "Excuse me."

Many people on this earth will carry the anger of dealing with some rude asshole for two seconds with them all day, even if they don't realize it. It's a natural reaction, but it's one of those tiny things, like littering, that shouldn't have to be a bother.

Littering kinda gets on my nerves too. It isn't so much the fact that people do it (because I'm prone to dropping trash if I can't find a can) but where it happens. Not too long ago, Frank and I saw this beautiful mall in jersey (The Promanade --sorry, I'm too lazy to link to the entry, keep up with me here). It was very clean, and a spectacular vision... freshly cut grass, well kept flowers, fresh water fountains, and such. Nobody in their right mind would litter there. It's well kept there.

But then, in my neighborhood, people tend not to give too much of a fuck. You know what, I don't really blame them either. People in my neighborhood don't really seem to give a damn about their property anyway, so that encourages passers-by to not give a damn either. I mean, if you're walking through a landfill, it's not going to hurt to drop a candy wrapper.

It's all about upkeep, and respect. I try to respect every neighborhood I'm in. The problem is, that respect in neighborhoods is earned in almost the same way that respect in other people is earned. If you don't respect yourself, no one else will either. So, don't come bitchin to me if someone litters on your property if you don't keep it up. (or if I do it...) Not that anyone has complained about such topics to me... like ever, and I don't really expect anyone to, because I only know one homeowner... but you get the point, I'm not taking your shit!

:-D

Okay, I think I'm done now. That was fun.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Monday, May. 12, 2003 at around: 12:24 PM

Tired of fucking myself

You know, I've hated mothers day for the past 3 years. It's not my mom's fault. It's my fault. I cried yesterday :-P.

Anyhow... a new week is upon me, and... stuff.

Yesterday wasn't all bad. For the first time in weeks, I left the house for no real reason. I went to center city, and visited the new Borders bookstore on broad and chestunt. Nice store. I like borders, because they won't kick you out if you just sit down and read, without any intentions of buying anything.

Anyway, it felt really good to get out of the house and just go. I sat in the park and wrote in my *real, no bullshit, no holding back* journal, and watched the kids play. The more I stay inside when I have the urge to leave, the more I fuck myself. Well-- not literally... well... nevemind! Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy being at home, relaxing-- that's on my top 3 list of "Things to do when not working," but I have the mentality of a cat. Like, okay, I am crazy, but hear me out.

If you've ever had a cat, you know that they have a knack for just chilling out in the livingroom, half asleep, perking up, and dashing into the bedroom for no reason at all. That happens to me. I'll be chilling out at home, and get a strong urge to just not be in the house anymore. So, I'll take a shower, put on my shoes and leave. I never really have a destination in mind, I just go.

That used to get me in trouble, because I'd leave outta the house with a lot of money, and end up going to another state. Like this one time that I went to new york, just to go, and eat crepes from chinatown, and I got stuck in trenton overnight. That was not fun, but it's a funny story (which I will not be recounting due to time constraints, sorry.) The Philadelphia Free Library cuts short an otherwise long and boring story yet again. Mwahaha.

I love being outside so much. Well, so long as I'm not in direct sunlight, it burns my eyes. I'm really lucky right now in that I have enough time in the day to go out and enjoy the fact that it's not sticky/sweaty or freezing cold out at the moment.

So I didn't really do anything good-natured this weekend. That could be why I've had a headache since last week. It fades in and out, but it was horrible yesterday. I'm hoping that it's due to the weather, because my allergies have been kicking my ass.

Well, I don't have much of anything interesting to say at the moment, so I'm going to get going, and check my email.

Peace and hair grease.

Love and adoration,

Pam