Oh man, you guys will never believe this one. I would say, "guess where I am," But I doubt anyone would figure it out. I'm at my mom's house. She finally drug me down here to fix her computer and get her back online. So of course I'm taking advantage of the situation by checking my email, updaitng my journal, and looking at porn. I mean, not looking at porn, but uh... reading educational websites. So anyway, I don't have any internet access at home, and as stated in a recent conversation with a Not-boyfriend of mine, "That's half of my life gone right there." I haven't paid verizon for services rendered, and they're pretty pissy about stuff like that. So no pay, no play. I need to pay my credit card bills and all, but you know, there will be none of that until I get around to reciving some funds. I really have NO money right now. It's pathetic. I did lose my job and everything, but that doesn't mean that I should be broke in a literal sense. I honestly have less than 55 cents in cash to my name. I wasn't planning on quitting, so I didn't save up any money. I was comfy living paycheck to paycheck. Now that isn't quite so comfy, seeing as how there ain't no paychecks. I have done a fairly good job of keeping my friends from knowing that I'm completly broke. It's rather embarrasing. I have no sense of money anyway, so I'm sure that some of them expect such blunders from me. I just don't want to go around asking mother fuckers to buy me stuff. I'm not that kinda girl. Anyhow, life goes on. I haven't spoken to Frank in a few days. That isn't for lack of trying, though. oh, boy. In the next room is a prime example of why I no longer live with my mother. Be right back... Earlier, while my mom was looking at her mail online, I was looking at some old pictures of my family. After seeing the pictures of my family, I was inspired to seek out my baby pictures. I looked in the spot where mom usually keeps them, and lo and behold-- no baby pam. So I give up, because it isn't that important. Then, after I gave up, and made mom relinquish the cpu to me, she went to go seek out baby pam pictures. She just had what could be defined as a "Moment" because she wasn't able to find photo albums of me. Woa. And people wonder why I am not a very emotional person. Mom flips out a lot. Sometimes for what seems to be no reason at all. She's been through a lot of stuff in her life, and it's really heartbreaking to see her get like this. Now that it's easier to understand why she's a little crazy, it really is sad. It used to be just plain fucking annoying when she'd start crying or yelling for no reason. But even though she is really nuts, I still love my mother. So, as a result of having an overly emotional mother, I'm a complete emotinal recluse. It took years to refine my ablility to hide all those important emotions, but I finally did it. Now I realize that it was a waste of time. All that I want in life is for people to know that I do have feelings, and for people to be touched by what I feel. Nope, none of that outta me. Anyway, as I was saying, before mom had her moment... I haven't spoken to Francis in a couple of days. I called him, but he told me that he's been having tele-troubles *snicker* lately. So, the persuit of the not-boyfriend continues. He's out enjoying being single, presumably dating other chicks, and not being tied down. Oh boy, is that a hint of jelousy we're hearing! (sorry, there's no question mark key on this keyboard, so I used an exlimation point) Well, maybe, maybe not. I have no right to be jelous, but I am. Just a little bit. I think, in mid january, while my life is going to become a hetic ball of confusion I'm going to work on the not-relationship. (The whole taking over the world thing will commence in mid-January, the Miss Philadelphia auditions are that week, I'll be working on getting money for my after school program, and I'm also going to be intensifying my diet... wholy shit.) So here's the plan. It's gonna be a free trial week. I'm not sure if I'm ready for any committments, and I'm damn sure that the not-boyfriend would rather remain committment free for the time being. I just want to give him a no-holds-barred free trial of 'girlfriend pam.' "What the fuck," says the viewers. Well, I'm a completly different girl as a girlfriend, and I'm afraid that the not-boyfriend isn't aware of this. So I'm going to go all out, and see how he likes it. If he doesn't, then the relationship remains the same. If he does, than I'll just start acting like that towards him all the time. "So what the fuck is giflriend pam anyway," Well, my crude viewer, girlfriend pam is very simple. I'm a really nice person! See, in a relationship, I'm all kinds of affectionate, kind, giving, and I even cook. Yes, I do cook. I'm actualy an okay cook. So, he'll get some o' that, and some cookies too. Here's hoping that he doesn't freak out. Otherwise, my life is strange. I'm stressing about paying my rent on time, nervously awaiting my unemployment checks, and looking forward to a career at Game Stop. I was thinking that if I can ride out this unemployment thing, and still work at game stop, then I'll gladly work at good ol 1739 after the holidays as a part-time gig if he wants me.... (oh yeah, he wants me, lol!) then I can still have some weekday free-time to take over the world with Cristina. Speaking of taking over the world, I have so much stuff to do. Hey... wait a minute... I just had a realization-- the other day when I was talking to the Not-boyfriend about quitting/losing my job, he mentioned that he was pissed with cristina. I was like, "Okay," He was already pissed with me, and he gets pissed a lot. He said something like, "If you weren't busy taking over the world with cristina..." and I was like, man, that sounds familiar... Damnit, he reads this. *laughs* See, he actually knows what the take-over-the-world plot is. Hell, I tried getting him involved. Man, I knew it. Well, I suppose I don't have to confront him about it, seeing as how he reads this anyway. Damn water signs, always all sneaky. Him and gabi both-- all reading my journal and my dumb air-signed self not knowing a thing. Well, I'm not rewriting this whole entry now. I guess he's just going to have to know about the free trial or whatever. Man, I give up, he always outsmarts me! *laughs* I guess that's why I like him.... Love and adoration, Pam
Howdy! Well, I guess that you can figure how my week went, just by reading that title, eh? Well, anyway... I quit on monday. I haven't told too many people, and some of the people who do know are kind of upset with me. Well one is, but I don't think he's upset because I quit. That sucks. See, okay, after going through the motions of losing my job, and telling my boss to have fun training a new person to do my job, I went to the only logical place. Game Stop. I actually had intentions of heading to my favorite store, good 'ol South Philly Game Stop. Duh, Frank's store. But since I was in center city, I hopped on a bus that said Whitman plaza, and headed down to Crazian John's store. I told all of their employees that I was unemployed, and they jumped on me like hawks, man. It was actually kind of funny, because John told his boss to hire me, and I kind of agreed. Foolish mortal I am. So the next thing I know, I'm filling out an ever-loving game stop application--- at the whitman store. Well, after giving that some thought, I was like, oh shit. Frank is gonna be upset that I didn't apply at his store. Then I spoke to him. I really think he's offended, and hurt. I feel bad and everything, but what am I gonna do? It was kind of a rash moment in my life, and I was having a really fucked up ass day. Not to mention the guy that I'm digging is pissed. He told me that he wasn't, but I'm sure he is. I feel terrible. When people are upset because of me it kind of eats me up inside. Plus, I have some kinda feelings about him, and it really makes me feel bad that I've hurt his feelings. I'll find some nice way to make him feel better. Anyway, I don't have a job, and I need to pay rent. Needless to say, I'm stressed the fuck out. Cristina has no money to pay me with, and that's horrible. I'm working at game stop, but that doesn't start until next week. I don't know how I feel about working at the 3rd street store just yet. I think it may be better in the long run that I don't work for Frank. Although he's a way better manager than Sean is, I don't know if he'd be cool with me working for him or not. If he is, then maybe after the holidays, if he fires Eric McDumbass, then I'll gladly work at his store. He's a sweet guy (frank, not eric. Eric iz silly little monkey) and it really upsets me when he is upset by me. Frank has enough crap going on in his life. Well, I'll see about cheering him up, as best I can. Well, I really think that for the next couple of weeks or so, when I speak to frank, I am not going to bring up gamestop or anything, because this isn't something I want to escalate into a problemo. Well, between quitting my job, and running the plans to take over the world, I'm a very busy, stressed out human being. Plus, I started this stupid Hollywood diet, and that means that I can't eat any food today or tomorrow. that SUCKS. I am a very irritable person when I'm hungry, and the hollywood diet prohibits ingesting anything but the drink and water while on the diet. Damn. Well, I'm going to go, and pray. Yes, I will pray to the gods of pampoopology. Love and unemployed-adoration, Pam
So okay, There hasn't been an entry from me in forever and a year. I have been very, very busy. All this taking over the world stuff is pretty mo-fo'in hard. Anyway, I've been doin' a lot of grabbing the bull by the horns, and making the world my plaything. It's been a while, but I know that it's not that hard. Right now, it's about nine pm. I'm at cristina's school, and I've been up, working, and bustin' my arse since around 9am. Oy. It's been quite some time since I've had multiple days like this in the period of one week. I miss this kind of life. Love an' a-or-ation Pam (it's not easy typing the letter D on this keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.)
I am so incredibly horny that I think other humans smell it. Okay... So ... Uh, how are you? It really is Scorpio in full effect, because I want to sexually devour other humans and keep them locked away in my apartment as my love slaves. Oh, it's not easy being me. I think I'm going through some serious get-in-touch-with-my-rising-sign-ness. Every year since I've lost my virginity, and even a couple years prior, I get all kinds of crazy in early November. I have tons of energy, usually, but now-- woo, that sexual energy is crazy. I really am in serious need of some poontang. If I was in a relationship right now, I'd pity the poor soul that had to put up with my urges.... In fact he/she'd be pretty lucky, because when I get like this, it's classic. I already consider myself to be an excellent lover, however when I go through what I can't explain any better than being in HEAT, like a cat, it gets bad, dawg. It's the time of year when I actually masturbate every day. I usually don't do that, but it's like I can't help it. *.* It'd be crazy if I had to go without masturbating for a year. I'd kill some motherfuckin' body. I've been really busy lately, and I feel bad that I've been ignoring my journal-- my love. I haven't been updating like I usually do, because I just haven't had time. I'm a constant force in Frank's life now-- if he likes this or not, I'm not quite sure. I mean, he likes me, but you know- I'm always second guessing myself. People tend to say one thing and do another, and I'm just like all other humans I know. He's been great though. Frank is a good friend, and I trust him. Plus he's cute, smart, and wears glasses. *laugh* I don't think I wrote about this, but he and I had a conversation about just that. His wearing glasses. I mentioned (online, because deep down I am an excruciatingly shy girl) that he's sexy. Frank is a sexy person, once he's away from all other humans. He lives up to all expectations that exists for the sensuality of water signs. So I tell the guy that he's sexy, and he's like, "Uh... Right." and so on. After a bit of conversation, he says, "You just like geeky guys." I failed my play-that-shit-off roll, and he made mention of my attraction to smart guys, and I was defeated. I like that about him. He always finds a way to beat me at shit I'm good at. A good trait. A challenge. That appeals to my D-ish personality. I'll write more later, but I gotta catch a bus. Love and adoration, Pam
so many tests, so little time.... Your nipple tastes... great! (Just like CHICKEN)Written, Saturday, Nov. 23, 2002 at around: 12:18 AM
At big momma's house--- and I done been found out!
Written, Tuesday, Nov. 19, 2002 at around: 8:04 PM
Unen-fucking-ployed
Written, Thursday, Nov. 14, 2002 at around: 9:00 PM
busy, busy, busy!
Written, Thursday, Nov. 07, 2002 at around: 3:50 PM
I need it, and I need it NOW
Written, Thursday, Nov. 07, 2002 at around: 3:47 PM
Too many quizzes to shake several sticks at
You Have a Tasty Nipple!
Your Sex Position is Doggie Style
Carnal. Lusty. And totally erotic!
Bend over with your ass in the air.
Leave the lights on, if you dare.
You Are A Juicy Kisser!
Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.
You are the perfect kisser - with the right combo of lips and tongue.
It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!
You Are a Gaijin Tarento!
Ah, the status every gaijin (foreigner) longs to get - that of the gaijin tarento (foreign TV star).
You're Japanese has to be up to snuff, and you've got to be willing to voice your weird political opinions.
If you've got that down, you can be famous in Tokyo.
While you think you may be respected for your foreign flava, the truth is
that most Japanese see you as not much more than a zoolike spectacle.
This one is a good fucking laugh:
Nope. Definitely not bisexual. Thank you for trying ;)
Although you only like to eat one kind of meat,
that doesn't mean you are any less of a sexual gourmand.
You just choose only the finest of dicks/breasts
(whichever strikes your particular gender's fancy)
and enjoy them with the style and panache that ideally suits you.
Written, Monday, Nov. 04, 2002 at around: 6:11 PM
Diaryland rocks my world with geeky guys and inmate chicks
Yo, I just checked out a couple of diarylanders sites, and got a hell of a laugh.
First, I checked my guestbook, to see who has been visiting. A girl came to my site via a google search for "Chumpies Potato." A google search, which I can proudly say that I am at the top of. That gave me a good laugh. So white folks do eat the chumpsters.
Then, I noticed that Scanzilla had checked my diary out. He's a funny guy. His journal is a great read, and I suggest that everyone click that link. He loves halloween too. Am I in love, or am I in lust with his hot and sexy pac-man tatoo? Any dude who has a yellow circle headed man on his arm is fucking sexy. I'm not saying these words in jest, either. He digs giant robots, and plays video games. He's geeky, and that shit rocks my world. He's no Frank, but he'll do as far as internet lust is conserned.
Scanzilla, prepare to be diaryland-stalked.
Then, I hopped on over to another one of my favorite reads, Jim. Hodgson is a funny motherfucker as well. I mean, he is the internet pimp, after all. He helped in the creation of what will one day be, Good Head 'R Us. He had a link to perhaps the funniest websites, that shouldn't be funny. Meet-an-inmate.com. That, as well, is worth a click. For only 3 bucks, you too can get hooked up with a chick who's in jail.
You know what's wrong with our country? There's a lot of hot white chicks in jail. If those pictures of the bisexual inmates are really of women who are in prision up there in Montana, I'm gonna have to move eventually.
Anyway, I just thought I'd share.
Yesterday, my ass was up at 4am. I went to audition for Star Search. No, I didn't get a callback. It's no big deal, because it gave me the confidance to go and audition for other things in New York. I'm not afraid. So that's the plan! I will be famous!!
So, anyhow, I'm still at work. I'm going the fuck home.
Love and adoration,
Pam