Sleep on deez... deez nuts! heh.

I got a diarytag today. That's great, but at the same time it kinda sucks, because I know how I can just ramble on and on in an entry about nothing. Even if I have a question to answer, I can just keep writing about nothing and everything. Almost like I was rambling. But it would be really, really redundant of me. Really.

Anyway, I'm not going to answer the question today (probabally tomorrow) because I feel like rambling about my own daily crap. That, and I really can't think of an answer to the question posed (Who -or what- do you admire?) I don't know if I really admire anyone these days, I'm quite self-centered.

Speaking of being self centered, I had a good day at work today. I had a nice conversation about work ethics with my supervisor for all of 5 minutes, which is kinda funny, because my work ethic is quite flexiable. I work hard when I wanna, and when I don't-- I don't work at all. Like, when I'm trying to focus (read: Goofing off) I often find myself thinking of ways to better the company. I am truly a team player.

Today was also a good day at work because I had a intlelectually stimulating conversation with one of my coworkers. My god, it's been a while that I could say something like that happened while working. I mean, I've had intelectual conversations with people I know from game stop, but never while I worked there... not that I can remember anyway. I had a conversation about numbers, and theroretical numbers. I hate math. Well, okay, I take that back. I hate Calc, and I'm not great with numbers. I don't hate math, nor am I terrible with numerical concepts... but I do still find myself counting on my fingers.

That's just another thing to go into the pile of things that I understand well enough to get along. That's a big fucking pile, too. My horrescope said I'd have some un-tapped talent emerge today. Whatever. Although I really get into astrology, I usually don't put too much faith into horrescopes, because they aren't very specific. As they say, you're more than your sun-sign. Lately mine have been right on the money, at least the one I've been reading on Yahoo.com.... Oh goodness, I need to get out more.

So... I'm all excited about this job. It sounds like I'll really be starting soon, and everyone is excited for me. That makes me feel all special. :-D Yay!

You know what? I'm really goddamn tired. This has been a problem since early this month. At first I thought it was because of my period, but that's long gone, and due to return in a week or two. Now it's really bothering me, because I've never had trouble sleeping. As a little girl, I slept through turbulance, hurricanes, thunderstorms, and being dropped on my head. lol, no I was never dropped on my head as a kid, my mom woulda killed someone.

But I've always been a fairly sound sleeper. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night, but it's never been this weird. Like I can't fall asleep, and once I do, I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. I'd feel better if I was stressing out over something, or I wasn't feeling well, or even if my bed was uncomfortable. Like, before when my walls were really bothering me, I couldn't sleep, but now I'm used to it, so I'm quite sure it isn't that. Eh, whatever. I'm sure I'll get over whatever the problem is shortly, and I'll be sleeping like a sloth, drooling from one side of my mouth shortly.

Hopefully I won't end up taking sleeping aids... they really scare me. Whenever I took something with a sleeping aid, I didn't see anything in the real world for a good 24 hours. Whatever the chemical is that keeps you asleep, I must have a bunch of it.

Anyway, my time is drawing to a close. I'm glad I was able to ramble on for a while, and expect a peices of you and a diary tag entry before thursday. I'm mostly typing that so I don't forget, and actually do it. :-) Yay! Have a great remainder to your day, and an even better tomorrow!

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Monday, May. 19, 2003 at around: 1:02 PM

I may very well have a better job, so don't piss me off

Hi everyone!

I really don't like referneces to Paul Gaspari. Yes, the sex scene in the matrix was too long (with not enough nudity, if you ask me), and I think every cute, shy, thin girl with long hair and big boobs likes AFI. Wait... well, all the cute shy thin girls with long hair that I know, anyway.

Okay, that's all I have to say about that.

Sorry, I've been getting that all important journal read on, and I needed to vent.

So it's monday. I feel kind of empty updating at the moment, because I updated yesterday, and mondays are usually reason for me to give a breif summary of my weekend. Sadly, I really don't have much to talk about, in regards to the weekend. My best stories were of Frank's running jokes, followed pretty far behind by the vomiting and diahreea.

Well, the best stories that I'm willing to share here.

So good turn of events today-- it sounds like I'm getting the promotion. I've never really been "promoted" before. I've gotten plenty of raises, and at MANY jobs, I've been given more responsiblity without a title change, or a signifigant income increase. That's because I'm nice, and have a problem telling people in need "no," when I should be saying, "Fuck you, dude!" Also, it dawned on me not too long ago, that I haven't interviewed for most of the jobs that I've had.

I never interviewed for any Catering job, they just presumed I could do it. I didn't interview for any of my Comptuer Consulting jobs, they just figured by talking to me on the phone, and that I graduated magna cum laude from CLC that I'd be able to do the jobs. Back when I worked for Dave (icky, letchy Grown-ass dave) at the auto-body shop, I didn't interview because I was the smartest person he knew. That, and I'm a pretty girl, and my mere presence helped buisness. I didn't even interview for my first job, at the Cat Doctor. After I volunteered with them to get my Girl Scout Sivler award they offered me a job. Even the acting roles that I've had, I didn't audition for, and the few auditons that I've been to, I was asked to attend. Except the one MTV one that I just got a repeat email for. I didn't interview for game stop, because well... I knew how to do everything from observing for so long.

Now, my current job, I didn't interview for, and they're basically giving me a better position within the company.

Weird.

That's what I mean when I say I think I'm really lucky. Don't read that wrong, becuase there are some serious low points, and days when luck is a total four letter word. Well, luck is always a four letter word. So is lick. ...anyway... I'm lucky. That whole positivity thing works man, I swear.

Oooh! I bought some reading glasses at the dollar store on my way here! I can see!! I'm so happy! I can see things near my ace clearly. Maybe if I do get this promotion at NAPCO, I'll have health insurance again and I could get some glasses to fix that whole "Can't see far away either," problem. If I wasn't so sleepy, I'd stay and read one of the books I was reading a couple of weeks ago, but there are books at home, and my bed is there too. There are no beds in the library.

Sadly.

I miss health insurance. I liked being able to go to the doctor whenever I felt like it. That, and prescriptions weren't like, a worry. I'm going to start buying my prescription drugs online from canada, or something. As a kid, I was kind of a hypocondriac. Most of the time I was pretty sure that there wasn't anything wrong with me, but I loved going to the hospital. The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia is a great place. There's a McDonald's inside. The major problem, much like my major problem to this very day, is that I thought I knew too much. I'd think that my feaver was because I had some sort of pulmonary condition only found in infants born in Singapore rice patties, and I was the one American anomoly. I needed to be studied! Well, I did, but not for the feaver.

These days I still overthink things, and don't use my common sense as much as my logic.

LOL, like you can call what I do 'logic.' My mom put it best when I told her that I've had a lot of time to think lately, "You really shouldn't think, Pam." She was serious. I like to act, rather than react, but sometimes reacting is much better out of me. :-D

Speaking of my mom, she hasn't let my co-workers forget that I'm "a force of nature" when I'm angry. That's not nice! Nor is it entirely true. Well, I don't think it is. Whatever, most people will never see me truly angry, and that's a good thing. I'm pretty sure the only people who ever see me angry are the poor sods who are closest to me, because they're the only ones that can piss me off anyway. You won't like me when I'm angry.

Ha ha ha.

See, it's funny, because the Hulk says that.

But, I'm not angry now, nor have I really been in the past couple of weeks. The last time I was seriously pissed off was during the whole "My Racist Momma" episode... see, two people I care about, gettin' me all pissed off. Grr. :-) It's all good.

So, I think I'm done for the time being. Have a great day, and an even better tomorrow! :-D (I like that phrase!)

Love and adoration,

Pam