Ah, shit.

Okay,

My fucking stomach hurts really bad, and has hurt really badly since early yesterday morning. A wiser woman would have not come to work, yet I (bein' all unwise and whatnot) felt an extreme need to be here, accomplishing things. I need help. I haven�t taken a shit in more than a couple of days, so I think that kind of explains it. Um... that explains the pain in my stomach region, not my desire to come to work and be productive. The pain isn�t quite crippling, but it�s pretty damn bad. It must mean that my intestines are housing a medium sized concrete brick, which seems to cause my intestines grief, thus making them act like assholes.

My asshole is quite tired of being mocked.

I�m gonna go try and potty. Be right back.

I just got up and took the most painful shit of my adult life.

Oh my god.

I�ve never given birth, but I�m quite sure that was the introductory trial right there. Holy shit-- that�s not a pun, but it would have been nice if the shit did have some holes in it, perhaps my butt would not be quite so sore at this moment in time.

Sadly, my stomach still hurts, so whatever�s in there and causing me this ghastly insane pain is still squatting in my body. Ugh, although I was going for the crackhead-living-in-an-abandoned-house squatting, in my mind I imagined the crackhead-just-ate-a-crack-sandwich-and-is-pooting-it-out squatting.

So, if you haven�t figured it out yet, my tummy hurts a whole hell of a lot. Frank said it�s from the unknown alien/mystery meat gray sausage ball pizza I scored for free from my mom when we hit up Pizza Hut the other day.

Oh, I haven�t given a whole weekend update, have I?

friday: Kill bill- best movie ever. Saw it with usual movie-going crew, which now includes Latrice. That makes me happy that she�s been joyfully accepted into the group of misfits that I call friends. Well, she�s always been my friends, but never in my tightly knit circle. Yay! Otherwise spent quality alone time with boyfriend, which is almost always yay.

saturday: Woke up early for a saturday... had crazy Kill Bill dreams.

Woa.

Did a bunch of nothin�. Got a letter from Illy. That was fun. I took a walk, and saw a crime scene where an old woman got hit by a neon. Fucked up shit, dude. Almost saw another old person get hit by a truck! Went home. Did a bunch more nothin. Tummy kinda started hurtin�.

Sunday: Went to the cemetery with my mom way early in the morning to go check out my grandfather�s eternal resting spot. It was my pop pop�s birthday. We drove around the ginormous cemetery for 2 hours looking for his grave. There are NO fucking people working at West Laurel Hill on sundays who know a lick about grave site locations. We didn�t find my pop pop. We left discouraged (although I was quite intent on finding it, mom was getting upset, so we broke out.) Mom bought pizza, and gave me half. I came home and watched tv.

Fuck the Cowboys.

Took off my Eagles jersey, and put it in the ever-growing laundry pile. Rang up the boyfriend, and he came over to watch 7 Lives Xposed. Greatest regular porn programming ever. Good �show,� as Francis put it.

monday: Came to work. Work sucked, cept for that . My stomach hurt so badly I didn�t eat. Not eating renders me irritable. I was moody and in pain. Felt like I was on the rag. Took a walk before heading home to relax a little-- got my ass smacked by one kid out of 6 or 7 cockroach motherfuckers on bikes. Got pissed off, and decided to end the �Calm me down & get fresh air� walk. Got on the subway, and saw Frank. He cheered me up a little, and drove me home from the subway.

I went in the house, and ate some tuna, which didn�t help me feel any better. I went to sleep, Latrice called. She got a job! She decided she was coming to visit, and although sleep sounded way awesome, I didn�t put up much of a fight. I went back to sleep, and woke up when she rang my bell. We hung out and laughed about balls. Frank called to check up on me and tell me about monster garage rule changes. Yay- they turned a delorian into a hovercraft.... well, they didn�t really, but it was fun watching the hovercraft/delorian get run over. I gave Latrice liquor... I think she got drunk. She rolled out.

My intestines continued to behave like assholes.

My asshole was not amused.

I know, I know. I�m just way too fucking exciting when I�m broke and sick. Woo.

I�m slowly feeling better, I took a tums and the post-shit pain is starting to decline in intensity. I drank some water too. I feel alot better apart from the crazy dizzy spells I had.

Whoever you are, I�m sure you�re quite tired of reading about my bowel movements, so I�m gonna go now.

Love and adoration,

Pamela Jean

Written, Saturday, Oct. 11, 2003 at around: 10:22 AM

Blasphemy? Kill Bill: Volume 1

FUCKING RIGHT!

I prommise not to spoil this movie for anyone who hasn't seen it. I prommise not to give a false ending to the story, becuase I loved this movie too much to ass rape people who might think that my fake movie reviews are for real. I loved Kill Bill, and yes, now that you mention it, I do think I'll marry it.

We (we=frank, trice, jay, darrell, mike, and myself... I have to come up with a name for this little group... how about Those Fuckin' Guys? lol) went to see Kill Bill last night, and I can't speak for everyone else that saw it, but it is officially my favorite movie. Hands the fuck down, man. --here comes the blasphemin'-- Yes, I think it was better than lord of the rings (any of em thus far) because this film was not only more kickass, had a story I could be passionate about, and starred Uma Thurman and Lucy Liu- It was a martial arts/action film starring women who weren't all asian. Fucking right. Yay for a real action flick staring chicks!! And no, Charlies Angels does not count, by any means.

I'm so happy that I wasn't disapointed by this movie, because I was totally looking forward to it. I mean, I was unnessicarily excited about this film after seeing the first preview for it. That was a little less than a week ago, actually, lol. It was more than everything I expected, and I'm sure I'll be buying tons of kill bill merchandise. I just can't take it to work (Yes, my bosses' name is bill, lmao!) I swear--- This movie was so awesome that later on in the evening I had an orgasam or 12. I know those are pretty much unrelated events, but does it really matter?

I thought not.

Oh my god, this film kicked so much ass. The damn soundtrack! OH! GOD YES! I need this soundtrack in my life. Like everyday, lmao. It was very intense, and every bit of the score and soundtrack was appropriate. The confrentation music was so kickass, every time- the "We're being dramatic and introducing Lucy Lui's crew" music (yay!) and... well all of it just fucking rocked. I know I'm not being particularly discriptive, but you know, I'm still high off the film. I think I can kick everyone's ass, and know how to use a Katana. I could kick the ass of a lot of people who read this, but I know nothing of swordplay, lmao. The script was nicely speckled with humor and drama- the cinmentography was orgasmic, and the direction of the film (although a VERY reminiciant of 70's martial arts flicks... but that was what he was going for, duh) were so in synch. It kicked -my- ass. The movie was uber-violent, and deservingly so!

There's a scene where Uma Thurman... Da Bride.... wakes up from her coma. She started freaking out about (not gonna ruin every scene for ya) and I was totally going to start sobbing like a child with a skinned knee, lol. Well, when I was a kid, if I skinned my knee, I never cried. Even then I played with boys, but this entry isn't about my childhood, it's about the best. movie. ever. ... So Uma wakes up and starts freakin' out. It was so sad... well, at least it was to me. I was all like, suck it up, and go kill those heartless bitches for what they did to you!

I had a bad dream last night about that scene and woke up at 6 am all upset, lol. Damn movies in my brain!

A lot of scenes in this movie were dramatically long, but unlike in the second installment of the matrix (which I've decided I didn't like too much... I can take it or leave it. I liked the first one much better), where the orgy dance scene was 15 minutes long just so they could sneak in a nipple or two, the long dramatic scenes in Kill Bill added just enough intensity to the film. It wasn't overdramatic Well some of it was a little cheesy, but if you were ever into any of the following styles of film: kung fu, anime, japanese katana fighting, or mandiran martial arts, you'd probabally aprecaite a lot of it anyway. The cheese was worthwhile, and caused me to totally cream my pants.

Did I say that?

Kirsten, one of my coworkers, saw a sneak preview of Kill Bill on thursday, and was totally grossed out, and had to stand in the vestibule while the bloodier scenes went down. Don't get me wrong, it was extremely bloody in parts, but I'll be damned if it wasn't worth it. I thought it was totally awesome, and have every intention to go see it again.

I wasn't joking around last week when I was telling people that I wanted it on dvd... now. Whenever it does come out on dvd, I'm probabally going to play it an insane amount of times.

Anyway, it's quarter of eleven am on a saturday... I'm going to try to go back to sleep for a while, 'cause I have shit to do later today. Yay.

Love and adoration

Pam