What a lovely day! (Fuck it.)

Love.

What is it? I really don't know. I guess it's like this want for someone to be with you all the time. You really like someone, and you're not all ready to kick their ass every 10 minutes. Love for me is a mystery. I don't quite get it, and I don't quite know when I'm in or out. It's like a wading pool. First your in up to your neck, and nine steps later your up to your shins, and you can step out.

Hmm, just thinking.

Anyway, let me rant off about my boyfriend. Again, he's a sweet boy, and usually seems to have good intentions. I'm just not in the mood to spend extensive amounts of time with him. I need to have a phone so I can just talk to him. That would be much easier than having to see him every day. I find that to be a little stressful.

*sigh* I really care about Glenn. He really is among my best friends. Perhaps my best friend. I don't think I'm his best friend though. I want everything to be okay between us, and I'm foreseeing this breakup that's going to be really shitty. I don't really want to break up or anything, because I'm really comfy in our relationship, however, I don't think we make a really complementary couple. We're good as friends, however I don't think we're going to be together forever.

I had me a conversation with Samantha. She is too cool. We talked about our man troubles, and we're both completely clueless. Idiots, both of us. Equals we are, and dumbasses all the same. *laughs* Anyway, I guess that's why we're friends. We're both total fuckups, and we appreciate that in each other.

Well, I think I'm in one of those shitty moods again. Those moods where I want to just bang other peoples heads into the wall for no real reason. Really. I'm not always all calm and placid. I have a mean streak, and it's not nice.

I used to have these thoughts about just being really mean to people on the train and bus for no reason at all. I had one of those thoughts today, and it made me snort. Grabbing the back of the head of the teenage girl sitting next to me and banging her head into the pole on the bus sounded like such a fun thought for a while. Until I realized that I don't enjoy hurting people. Ah, well. So much for being a pacifist.

Oh, I was going to anime club. I guess I'll be really late. Whatever, they're usually there until 9 anyway. I won't be missing much. I'm so very much in a "Fuck it" mood. Fuck work, fuck EVERYONE in anime club, fuck my relationship, fuck my friends and fuck my bills. Damn, I've become quite the ho, haven't I?

Well, whatever. I'm leaving. Fuck this entry.

Love and ad--- ah, fuck it,

Pam