Oh shit.

Tiffany got married.

Oh well, I suppose I don't have to worry about hooking her up with John. Times are tough relationship wise around these parts.

Anyway, I just got through a VERY akward moment. When tiffany came over, I didn't very well expect her to bring Derrick. She introduced him as her husband, and I'm all like... shit, no she didn't. Well, there goes another one of my female friends getting married to a guy she'll divorce, and hate forever.

God damn men with good dick and no personality.

On a lighter note, well, I don't have anything amusing to say at this point.

Ah well, I'm going to go and entertain frank and john (who yes, are still here)

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Saturday, Aug. 17, 2002 at around: 1:32 PM

it's been an alright couple of weeks

Okay then,

Interesting developments. Strange happenings. Things shaping into new stuff. Fragment sentances.

Yo dawg, I'm tellin' you, I enjoy my life from time to time. It really is a lot of fun being me, because I get to be a part of so many cool people's lives. I'm really glad I wasn't suicidal as a teenager, because I'd be really mad if I were to miss out on all the life I'm living now.

Wish me much luck.

You know, I was supposed to be buying a car today. I can't afford to even imagine buying a car. I'm going to imagine riding SEPTA for a couple more months. I kind of enjoy riding the bus to work. I do not, however, enjoy not having a car when I have things to do that aren't work. I really beleive that my life would be more fufilling if I owned a vehicle.

That and I'd probabally be overweight. See, car + pam = lazy bitch. That isn't true, because back when I was driving the Neon, I still did a lot of walking. I might take my mom up on fixing up the neon. First we have to find the damn car. I'm not looking forward to that.

On more interesting fronts, I've been having a great two weeks. I'm sorry that I haven't updated, but every time that I sit down to write an entry, more interesting stuff just happens to me. Even at work, if you can belive it.

I've been buliding this really great *ahem* friendship with Frank. I've started talking to him more frequently, and I'm actually starting to get to know him. I'm liking the Frank that lives underneath the GameStop bullshit.

I really feel for him, (more than relationship wise, I'm starting to get deep here, okay?) He has a lot of stuff going on in his life that he's trying to change, however he doesn't have much control over things. I just wish that I could do something. The only thing that I know how to do is be his friend, and I'm trying my best to do that.

Even if I'm just a faint glimmer in an otherwise fucked-up ass day, I have served my purpose.

Ah well, we'll see.

I'm going to end this entry, because if I don't, this will become another one of those entries that I start and never finish. --soon to come, stuff that pam wrote on her PC while her isp connection was dead--

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Thursday, Aug. 15, 2002 at around: 7:54 AM

Fast enteries are hard to write at 7am

I have a small kitten
she spends most of her time shittin
and I still manage to love her anyway
I'm bout to be late
for my job again
because I was up till 3am with the not-boyfriend
I really don't know
why I don't just go
Up to his job
and slob on his knob
and change the dynamic of the way he and I am.

Yeah, I'm really deep at 7:5something am. I don't have much time, because I really am about to be late for work. But uh, I tried making an entry last night but d-land was having a 'moment' so I couldn't get my update on.

Later today I'll write about what happened last night. It wasn't earth shattering, but it was a major development in the world of pam's relationship.

Oh, and I think I might be going to vegas for the hell of it. :-D Exciting!!

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Friday, Aug. 09, 2002 at around: 3:47 PM

I'm still alive, I swear

You know,

I haven't updated in a minute. It has nothing to do with the blogathon, but more so with the fact that my computer at home has seen better days.

So, anyway, how are you feeling?

Really?

Good. Glad to hear it.

I'm all into these punk covers of pop songs and movie soundtrack themes. It's becoming rather addicting. I'm listening to yet another remix of britney spears. Yeah dawg.

Speaking of john and Frank, I was supposed to be chilling with them and tiffany today. No go. Tiff is in the process of moving, and she's getting her move on today. Very exciting. Oh, did I mention that John is totally digging tiffany? It's so cute. He said he blushed. John is so gay sometimes, that I forget that he's attracted to women. Yes, I called john gay. He has a lot of very feminine tendancies, and he's so sensitive that it hurts me sometimes.

He's a good guy, but he's like having a female friend. Silly boy.

Just a general update, I still haven't had sex in what is slowly approaching a year. can you believe this? I don't. Damn me and my stupid morals. Feh.

Well, anyway, I'm going to go, it's 4 and I said I was leaving at 3.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Monday, Aug. 05, 2002 at around: 10:34 AM

It's been a minute

Howdy!

Sorry I haven't been around-- as far as being online, or updating, or available via IM, but I'm having computer problems at home. I think my NIC card is fried. I don't want to have to buy a new one, so I'll do my best to check out the system when I get home tonight. Anyhow, I've missed ya'll. Post in my guestbook, and let me know that I'm loved, or at least not-disliked.

I did my NYC MTV audition thing this weekend. It was a lot of fun. I met a bunch of other Gwen Stefani fans (lovingly called Gwennabes) and made some friends. It was a very inspirational day, because Gwen has been my 'idol' so to speak, in the music industry. Between Gwen and Janet Jackson lies my personal inspiration and love for the music industry. Needless to say, I was not selected to be one of the 3 competing wannabes, but I had a really good time. And you know what? After hearing No Doubt

I do want to sing and make beautiful music (at least beautiful music to me) for a living, among other entertainment related things, and I had always looked at Gwen and No Doubt as a marker for me to reach. I realized, however, that I have to make my own style. I have to be me no matter what. I know that sounds really corny and very clich�, but it's really something that hit me. Even Frank and John told me something to that effect.

Another fun event this weekend was visiting Frank's house. No, I had never been inside his house before. I mean, the guy does live in Jersey.

Anyway, On Saturday, I did some hard core game stopping, and went for a ride with my mom. During the mom-ride, I found the sweetest little kitten, and decided to make my mom pull over so I could catch it. Animals love me so much. I named the kitten Koi (koi is a word used to describe someone you love in Japanese, and its also what those big ass goldfish are called. It sounds like "coy"). I am going to keep her, and she'll be getting her shots later this month.

After buying the kitten some food, a litter box, and some kitty accessories, I went home. I left the house shortly to go grab some grub, because I was starving, and my cell phone rang. Lo and behold, it's Frank. He and John invited me out to Atlantic City. I'm thinking, "We're all broke, and you two have to work in the morning," but I was like, "sure, I'll go!"

So to make this excruciatingly long story short, we ended up saying "Fuck you," to Atlantic city, and we hung out at Frank's house. We watched wrestling, porn, and Slamball. It was quite the event. Plus, Frank has lots of pets at his house, and they were a lot of fun. I haven't spent time near a dog in a while. It was rather cool.

Anyway, this just sounds like rambling about now, so I'm going to cut this off. I don't know when I'll be back online, but be assured that I'll update whenever my NIC card stops acting like an asshole.

Love and adoration,

Pam