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Hidey ho! Well, I did go outside today. Crazian John stopped by, and we went to McDonalds and shot the shit for a while. In fact, he's still here. I think he's only still here because he can watch tv here. Right now the tv is on and he's watching South Park on DVD. There would be like, WWE action on, or something on cable, but my cable went out. The only channel I get is CN8. That's surely because I haven't paid my cable bill. Oddly, my internet is still up. I'm not complaining, though. Hopefully I'll have some money soon, because the last thing I need is for my electricity to go bye-bye as well. That would suck more ass than anything else. I'd have a phone, and no damn electricity. Times are tough. That, and my mom wants me to go pick up my grandma from the hospital tomorrow. She had cancer in her female organs, and had them removed. Now she's being removed from the hospital. I don't got a car. How am I supposed to pick up the old broad you ask? Well, I have to take a bus, train, and trolley to west philly, get my pop-pop's truck, and drive her ass home. I also spoke to Cristina (guzman) today. She IMed me eariler this afternoon, and started talking to me. I knew that she probabally wanted something, because I hadn't said anything to her since new years, and then I think I spoke to her breifly last month. Anyway, Cris asked me to call her, and I did so. We spoke for a while about the charter school, and whatnot. From what I understand, she's looking for someone to take over the after-school academy if the Charter School takes off. That'll be okay if she wants to pay me more, because I'm worth a lot more than what she's able to offer. I'm also not looking to give up my social life for her again. Even though there isn't much of a social life for me right now, and I really need the money-- I'd rather not work evenings at all. So, I'm gonna seek council from my board of trustees- a diverse group of individuals all well versed in my ways, and with a vested intrest in my future. - The boyfriend, the crazian, and the racist momma. I'm sure by tomorrow I'll know what I wanna do as far as working for Cris, but it's always good to have more than one point of view. Here's hoping that I'm strong enough not to get roped into anything I don't want to do, like working until 10 every night, and not getting a lot of money to do it. I'm a little mad that I have sorta job offers from two different people in the entertainment industry (Mike Davis from PhilaFunk and Cristina Guzman from CEG), but neither of them really have any money. Is this good luck or bad luck? The cup is always half full, I swear. I just got the greatest spam in my email box ever! It was just a little dissapointing, though. I got an invitation to find out about russian mail order brides. How do they know my tastes so well? The only problem is that the link didn't work. Ah well. *Snaps fingers* so is life. Come on now, you know I don't wanna marry no chicks. Maybe have a nice little concubine or something. That's my american dream. A husband, two kids, a nice car, a home in the suburbs with a tv on the ceiling of my bedroom, a swing set in my yard, and a concubine. There, this entry shall end. Love and adoration, Pam
Mornin' It's nice outside again. That means that I probabaly won't leave the house today. Even as much as that sunshine is calling my name, it'll be there all my life, and spending one day away from it isn't gonna hurt. Plus, I don't really like getting tanned. I like the color that I am right now, thank you very much. Last year I got the closest thing to a sun burn that I've ever had. Remember that baseball game that Frank took me to in the middle of july? Well, it was ultra hot that day. There were pretty much no clouds outside, and the sun was really beaming down our necks. I had on a sleeveless shirt. Needless to say my sholders were a completly different color than the rest of my body. I hate the summer. Allergies, hot weather, and tanning really aren't my cup of tea. Camping, shorts, and swimming however, float my boat quite nicely. Sadly those three positives run hand in hand, respectivly, with those three negitives. Springtime is okay, and so is fall, nice medium kind of seasons. Winter and summer, however, are way too strong for me. I likes it nice and easy. Hakuna matata, please? Yesterday was an interesting day. Everyone ate yummy steak, and whatnot. The food was good, the company was fun, and I got to grab another chick's boobs. A well rounded evening if you ask me. I mean, Kelly is pretty well rounded. Another interesting libra who I need to get to know better. Kelly is one of those people who is very libral with her body, and her words. Every time that I think I'm extremely vulgar, or fresh-- I have the opportunity to have a conversation about vibrators, lesbians, and sex with Kelly. She's really a walking, talking manifestation of sexual energy, and she isn't afraid to hide it, at all. That's fine by me, because I don't have too many female friends who will talk about sex with me in the kind of detail that she will. That, and most of my female friends wouldn't let me grab their boobs in public. Score one for the home team. Eating out last night was just a reminder of why I have to not just get a job, but a carreer. I am very american, in that I like to spend money. In order to spend money, I have to have a really good job. Them things are scarce these days. So, even though I've secured a job that will pay my bills, I'm still looking for a nice job that will not only accomadate rent and bills, but a trip to the Promanade in Jersey that involves getting out of the car and buying things. Well, that is all that I feel like writing about for the moment, so I'll chat later. Love and adoration, Pam
I am really fucking tired. Okay, had to get that out of the way. I hit the door about three minutes ago, and that's exactaly how much time it took me to take all my clothes off, including my earrings. It's hot outside today, yo! I just got back from the quickest shoot ever. We were actualy done around 1:30, but I'm just getting in now because I stopped by gabi and ali's house. Ali was the only person home, and we had our first conversation... ever. That has to sound crazy, because I knew of her in real life before there were any online journals or anything. Anyway, we spoke for a while, and Ali is really cool. Well, it was more like I talked at her for a while, and drank crystal lite while she laughed and smiled. She's this sweet bundle of giggles and smiles. Everything that one would ask from a libra. That, and a side of "Don't fuck with me." Anyway, I'm really exausted. I was up until 4 something last night, woke up at 7:30 this morning, and I'm not gonna get a chance to rest. That's fine with me! Tonight, all of the gamestoppers and ex-game stoppers, are going to Outback Steakhouse. Grub for all! I like group outings every now and again, and I haven't attended one in a while, so this should be a nifty shindig. I'm looking forward to having an actual dinner and some fun tonight. Well, I'm gonna take me a shower, and make myself look presentable again. More updates later, darlings. Love and adoration, Pam
Hello! I'm under the influence of some alky-hall, so anything that I say here can't be held against me. Not even if I end up wearing it. Well, I'm a little more honest when I'm tired and tipsy, so here's a bullshit free entry for all you guys. Read it, love it, and tell me you still respect me in the morning. Today wasn't spent exactaly as planned, but I think I enjoyed it a little more than I would have if it did go as planned. Frank and I were supposed to go out with Eric and Jennifer, but that didn't happen. I didn't really feel like going anywhere, and I'm glad we didn't. Don't get me wrong, I was indeed looking forward to this evening. But I love spending time alone with frank, just chillin. Ya'll players know how we do. Don't be hatin!! Today was a beautiful day, and I didn't go much of anywhere. That's how days like today were ment to be spent. Francis is such a lovely boyfriend. He's so handsome :-D He makes me laugh, he's really smart, and makes me feel liked and wanted. That's all I need. That and good sex. He provides that as well.... DUDE, fucking real. But, I prommised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't get into detail about our sex life on this page, so I'm gonna end that segment before it begins. *laughing* Life is good, trust me. But anyway, frank is great. We didn't do much of anything except watch tv, and sit, and eat. That's the life, dude. Frank brought some alky-hall over, and it's still here. The new smirnoff ice, triple black is the fucking shot, dawg. We tasted it for the first time, and it's so smooth-- almost like sprite. I drank one, and most of his. *laughing* In fact, I drank them really quick, so they got right into my system. Lately I haven't been drinking much, so I'm a little tipsy. I'm not by any means drunk, but I'm kinda done in for someone who only had two drinks. So, anyway, we didn't do anything but watch bad tv, and laugh. That, and I talked to Eric, who I don't think I like anymore. He's a straight up asshole. Yeah, I said it. Did I s-s-s-stutter??? Eric is one of those shitty boyfriends who makes it seem like they're being a caring guy, but is really a serious jerk. I had one of those boyfriends when I was a teenager, and he didn't like me very much. Michael Bailey-- a nice guy, but he tried being possessive. Fuck that! Eric is also not too aware of what he says. Now sometimes I'll lie about something, and forget my orignal lie-- but not in the same fucking conversation! This guy is talking to me, and contridcting himself every three minutes. I wanted to yell at this fuck so badly. It hurts me to my soul to hear that some dude is telling a girl who doesn't do much to begin with that she can't go out and have fun without him. That shit don't fly. I'm not so mad that they broke up the plans for tonight, because I had a great time here with frank anyway. I'm upset that he has the nerve to be a dick like that, and tell me about it. I don't think he knows me very well. So now eric is my enemy. Join me in protest, because he's going to learn a lesson. You don't fuck with pam's friends. Let me tell you a story. A long time ago, back when I was in the temple anime club, I spent a lot of time with Gabi, Ami, and Wil. At the time, Ami was being persued by this icky guy... uh, Toadie. Well, that's what we called him. I doubt that's what his momma called him. Ami is a really wacky girl, but I like her. A really artsy chick, she is- and she has a very nice body. If I had been the person I am today a couple of years ago, I totally would have made out with her. LOL-- anyway-- So, Toadie was in love with her, but Ami didn't want anything to do with this guy. He would talk to her, and that would just weird her out. That was until he met me. One day, the entire crew was sitting in anime club, which was simply a group of nerds, such as myself, watching anime on a big screen in Tuttlman. You're supposed to be quiet in there, while the movie plays-- I mean, common courtesy. Well, asshole-- I mean-- Toadie came over to ask ami some stupid question, being quiet, and speaking in a low voice... I think he was trying to ask her out, and she told him no. He tried pushing the subject, and then I got pissed off. I said in a rather firm voice, "Go away. She doesn't like you, and I think it would be in your best interest to leave her alone." He never spoke to her again. That was kind of mean, but sometimes I just get into "Protective mode." God forbid if I ever find someone fucking with Frank, and he isn't doing anything about it. I get very protective of people, especially when they aren't speaking up for themselves. And every boyfriend I've ever had something happen to them invovling something that they didn't want to persue, and I always put my finger on the situation. I like to get shit done, and be assured that the people around me are happy. That, and it makes me feel good to do crazy shit sometimes. I don't like having to be a bitch, but someone has to do it, right? Well, I gotta be on the set at 10am tomorrow, and be happy about it. So, I'm gonna go. Love and adoration, Pam
Well, uh-- I'm back from the airport. I got to meet some important airport people, and gave my boss all the important papers. He's a strange person. Like, really strange. He says, aloud, a lot of things that most humans would keep to themselves. Like, little observations that one might make in their mind, he'll gladly vocalize. He told a professional woman, "You don't know what you're doing sometimes, but it's okay, you're a nice person to make up for that!" I'm just glad that he won't be in the store too often. He's a nice guy and everything, but I know enough crazy people already. That's kind of funny, because when I worked for game stop, I was always five seconds away from just saying what I felt. Sometimes I did. On the work related front, I spoke to Bobby and Mike about full time employment. "Who are these motherfuckers," you ask yourself? Well, since I'm lazy, and probabally won't update the glossary just for this, I'll tell ya. Bobby Peoples and Mike Davis are the director and producer (respectively) of Luv Hurts-- the movie I'm working on. They both think I'm really smart, and a good employee. Ha! Fooled them... suckers! So they'd like to hire me full time for their PR, organizing parties, film edting, and perhaps even writing and/or directing my own film. That would kick a lot of ass. I don't really have any ideas for a movie. There's a couple of people who I'd bet have an idea or two. Here's hoping. Anyway, I'm really tired, because I couldn't fall asleep last night- I went to bed at 5am- and I woke up uber early -woke up at 8, again. So, as you've probabaly guessed, it's nap time. There may be yet another update before the 24 hour period that is friday ends. Love and adoration, Pam
Hey, Today is potentially my first day working at a job that will really give me a paycheck on a regular basis since febuary. I even made a new AIM away message. It is a lovely day, and I'm pretty excited. Not too excited though. Don't start searching out those e-congratulation cards on americangreetings.com just yet, either. I may not work today, because my boss might not be able to get into the airport, and this is still quite the crappy job, lol. I'll be able to pay the rent, but by no means am I satisfied. Hopefully I'll never be completly satisfied with anything, that way I'll always strive for more. Yeah, that crazy optimistic outlook. Well, I have to go, because I'm trying to get there at ten, and a bus will be leaving broad and snyder shortly. Expect an entry later that will contain a few more paragraphs. Love and adoration, Pam
Hi there, I really want some soft batch chocolate chip cookies. That needed to be said. Playing xbox live always makes me wanna eat those cookies, because I would usually go buy a package before I'd start playing. Those cookies are so yummy! I played live today, but I can't really afford the three dollar box of cookies to go with it. :-P On to better news, I start work tomorrow, sorta. I'm going down to the airport to give my boss my paperwork. He may or may not go to the store and start setting stuff up, and may or may not need my help. I could be getting paid starting tomorrow, which would be nice. Although I don't have one of those nifty airport badges, my boss can escort me into the airport. I got fingerprinted today, so they can check my background, and be assured that I'm not a terrorist. It's kind of strange how the airports are these days. It used to be that you could waltz right into the airport mall, which is rather nice here in philadelphia. I've been to some really shitty airports, in like South Carolina, and texas, where there wasn't even a lunch stand to get a snack from. The Philly airport is nice, but you can't get to the mall unless you work there or have a ticket. They consider the mall area to be where the terminals are. That's true, and kind of conflicting, because the way the Philadelphia International Airport is set up, you can get to . I hope the stores inside aren't losing too much money. I mean, they had to be making more money, pre-'nine one one' from all the shmucks who have to go pick up someone from their flight, and wanna buy them a gift. Now, instead of going to one of the stores in the airport, they have to go to a real mall. That's like an extra trip. Speaking of trips, there may or may not be a trip to new york in my future. Hopefully, if I'm getting paid for work tomorrow, and the next couple of days, I'll have money in time for said trip. I love new york so much. It's hard to believe that I haven't been there since last year. The past few months have just kind of wizzed by, and I haven't been out of the tri state area. (PA, NJ, DE) Frank and I spoke about new york city for a short period of time, and he reminded me that he's never been there. It's a very inspiring place to visit. A breathtaking city, it is. It doesn't matter if you're from a big city, like myself, or if you're from a small town, like my friend Samantha. New York is all about taking your breath away. Yeah, there's lots of noise, and it's trashy. It only makes sense that I like it, because I'm loud and my apartment is a big ol mess. New York is really a beautiful place, once you get past all the filth. Even the big ass hole in the ground is amazing. If you haven't been to new york recently (like in the past year) there's a huge hole in the ground, where the two towers once were. It's a scary thought to be there. I only saw the towers up close once, but I've seen that huge hole twice, and it's so much more meaningful than the two big buidlings were. But, just for your information, new york means more to me than jets pulverizing thousands of people. New York means more to me than the prommise of a better place to immagrate to. New York means a calm feeling. Nowhere else that I've been in America or Canada has given me the calm feeling that New York gives me. It's the irony of my mind- the most chaotic place in the english speaking world gives me a bit of inner peace. Just like inside this little brain of mine that you all think you know so well. I need to stop watching psychological movies at night. They get into my head, and I start thinking I'm a little bit crazier. The worst victims are those who know they are the prey. Well, anyway, I'm going to lay on my couch and play Psychologist with myself for awhile, until I get tired enough to fall asleep. Love and adoration, Pam
Good day, Yeah, it's not daytime at all, but it is somewhere in the world. Like somewhere, in this crazy universe, it's tuesday. Don't argue with illogical people, because you'll always be wrong. Besides, the only two people who are always right on this earth are my Pop-Pop and Myself. When he dies, I don't know what the world will do, for there will only be one person who knows it all on earth. I have a few recruits in mind. Anyway... another day has pretty much ended. I'm supposed to be waking up all early tomorrow to go to this job fair thingy. I wanna go and find me a full-time gig, but at the same time, I have no real desire to wake up before noon. Ah, the delimmas of a life as a young adult. This job fair will be attended by Frank, Dante', (yes there's supposed to be an accent at the end of his name. Yes, that's very girlish.) Dante's shadow, and yours truly. Dante's shadow does have a name, it's Kahlil.. I guess that's how it's spelled. Anyhow, we're all gonna wake up at the crack of piss-- (probabaly about 8... times have changed for me, okay?) and go to this thing. Now, what kills me is that the fair starts at 10 and lasts till 3. Why wake up so goddamn early? Whatever. This should prove to be a very interesting weekend. I'm looking forward to it. Many things are planned and hopefully all of them will put a big ol smile on my face. Like the kool-aid man. Frank came to visit today. That put a big ol kool aid smile on my face, among other expressions. I like frank a lot. Besides being a good boyfriend, he's a great friend. I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about how much I like the guy. I mean, seeing as how journals get boring when they're not about pain, suffering, and PMS, nobody wants to read about the nice evening that I spent with my boyfriend. But well... fuck ya'll. Don't like it? Don't read it. I love being able to type stuff like that. I don't have much power in my real life, so I can be a dictator in my journal. Yay me! Yes, my life is that pathetic. I mean, it's like, 3 am, and I'm on the internet. Earlier, I was practicing my singing, and trying some new dance moves. I am not, in any way, to be considered a dancer. It's just stuff to do. Mostly I dance at home for excersize, and I can feel like I'm a really great dancer whenever I go to a party with lots of white people. Yeah, I said it. I can't wait until I start working. I can finally start going to karaoke again!! I haven't had much money for a few weeks, and the weeks prior, I really wasn't inspired to go to karaoke. I gots the bug. So whenever I have some real spending money again, karaoke here I come!! I really wanna be a famous performer, because it's so much fun. I'm willing to work the crazy hours, put up with a lot of bullshit, and all that, if I'm gonna make more than a couple million bucks, net, for the 2003 or 2004 tax year. Much like any other job, you have to get experince under your belt, so that's what I'm aming for. What I should aim for about now, is some sleep. Yes... sleep. Hopefully I'm not too awake to fall right to sleep. Love and adoration Pam
Good morning, And that it is. Well, it isn't morning anymore, but in my world, it sure is to me. So, I'm in this better mood. I meant to update last night, but I obviously did not. I'm not usually all about the "I have to write an entry just to write an entry," shit, but that's probabally how it seemed yesterday. I mean, I don't think there was even a full sentance listed there. Who cares? On with the update. I'm always happier when I know I'm doing well. That, and it's much easier being around me when my period isn't on. Trying my damnedest to be the way I am normally during my period just doesn't work. I might have to start taking something--- Oh wait, I don't have health insurance. *song plays.. shave and a haircut...two bits* So there, what are you doing? Yesterday was a pretty good day, as you can figure. I got word that a tax return is coming my way. Yay! That, and I read one of Frank's stories. I don't think I ever mentioned this, but Frank does that writing stuff. Since he's become a member of the IQC, he's had a little bit more time to do stuff. I'm so happy that he's working on his writing. I was also happy that I got to read one of his stories. He's a really good writer. I always have very high expectations for people, and sometimes I find myself being rather disapointed. Yesterday, while reading Frank's story, I wasn't disapointed. I'd go into what it's about and give a little book-review, but it ain't my story. You wanna know about it, ask him. Anyway-- After I read his story, I told him that I really liked it, and I gave him some positive critques, because I couldn't think of any negitive ones. About five minutes later, he IMed me something along the lines of, "Did you really like it, or are you being nice because you're my girlfriend?" When I read that, I laughed aloud, becuase it didn't dawn on me that I could have potentially been softening the blow. I almost wrote back, "Huh?" Whatever, it was a good story. He needs to write more! In fact, I love seeing people use their craft. Especailly the people I like, because well... I like them. If I could, I'd encourage everyone to use their creative talents on a regular basis. People are much happier when they're creating what they love. That, and there's always a great sense of accomplishment when a peice is finished. Be it a story, a song, or a drawing, a completed work of art is like having a really cool... accomplishment... creation... thing. No I haven't gotten over LOTR yet. Ain't no party like a LOTR party, because a LOTR party don't stop. -Mostly because a lotr party would take about six hours, between two three hour films. Har har har. Oh, I did something I haven't done in a while, I watched anime for a little while last night. I watched the Love Hina Christmas special, and His and her Circumcison... I mean, Karekano. The christmas special is such a sweet-gooey-tooth decay inducing flick. I like it. So I guess I'm not over anime. I did trade in all of the Love Hina series and the first dvd of ayashi no ceres for monies yesterday. That's something I've never done. I've never gone to game stop, out of sheer need, and desperation, and traded in old games -without the intention of getting new games. I got rid of most of my ps2 games that will never be played again, a N64 game that I've never played, a game cube game that I haven't played since I first got the game cube, and the aformentioned anime. I still have princess mononoke (the first dvd I bought after buying my PS2) the love hina christmas special, and the first two dvds of Karekano. The only two PS2 games in this apartment that aren't demos are Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy X. I got 44 dollars and thirty cents for over three hundred dollars worth of stuff. Times are fucking tough. I'm sure whenever I start working full-time again, I'll buy well over three hundred dollars worth of stuff to replace what's no longer here. All the dusty games will be dearly missed. Well, not really, I didn't play with them anyway. I think my cat is sick. Koi is always a little strange, but she's been acting weird lately. She's been meowing really loud and whatnot. It wasn't that, she's a cat in heat, meow either. Like she was yelling at me or something. That, and she's puked twice in the past 24 hours. I'm hoping it's only becausse she's been eating the cheap food since last week, and it isn't agreeing with her. She's asleep on my couch right now. Animals are so much like people sometimes. They have their own distinct personalities, likes and dislikes. Amazing creatures. And then there's burning birdy ass. Yup. Okay, my landlord turned the oil heat off because it's April. There's a big problem with that, though. It went down to like, 36 degrees last night. It's rather cold in here. That's okay during the day, when I'm awake and moving around. I don't mind the cold so much. It's much better than being all hot and icky. But at night-- when sleeping, the cold isn't quite so friendly. Coldy toeseys! Brrrr! I'm gonna go take a shower. I may update again later on today. Who knows, the day is young! Love and adoration, Pam
Yay! Tax refund for moi! and I'm in a more updates later. Love and adoration, Pam
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