I'm still working on being famous, I prommise.

Good morning humans!

It's friday morning, and I'm excited to just have this day.

I've been writing vicariously through other people's journals, which makes me happy, as I've been too terribly lazy to put forth the effort to update here.

Several times I've attempted to update, an each time I wrote a bitchy, "I really don't want to take anyone's shit, especially if it means I have to talk to people. I mean, god," kinda entry. Some of them were really funny, and a few of them pointed some wagging "Stop being a jackass" fingers at a few people I know.

Before you get curious, no it ain't you. It could be a trap though. *laughs*

In world revolving around me news, I'm doing quite well, aperently. Crazian John decided to put forth the effort to really try and talk to me on the phone (you'd think he was my friend or something) and told me that I sound really happy.

Okaay.

My phone rang so many times yesterday that I almost felt popular. Noy, Latrice, and Ileana all called me last night. That's fun. They all have many things going on among them, similar yet seperate, and they each spoke to for a nice little while.

Last night, after work there was this Modeling/Acting networking party in center city. It was so nice to be at a coctail party and not serve it. I get off every single time I'm at a catered event, because of so many years of catering. I'll tell you one thing though, I knew what hors'd oveors ... or-derves :-D not to eat.

Anyway, while I was there, I met some really cool people, a few casting directors, this pretty little woman who runs a talent managment company, and it even seems like I've got an autocast in a modeling show (maybe two) simply because I know my mom, and she knows these people.

Niice

I really dislike modeling, as a profession. Having done it for a breif period of time, I think I'm allowed to have a good opinion of it. Not being a fashion-ly minded chick, I don't really want much to do with the world of clothing design, unless it's on sale. But, these people want to pay me, and that's just awesome.

I'm a great actress, and an okay singer-- at least I think so. My acting is good, but I still have a few things to work on... so I guess my talent is okay. However, modeling just skeeves me.

So I'll suck it up and be a model, and go to these boring parties where I talk about myself for a good two hours (not a difficult task, mind you) and hopefully some of these people will remember me. They probabally will, because I'm very memorable in conversation, and most people like me. Especially in these little clique-y venues that my mom drags me to. Most of them are black and/or urban-oriented, which is good, and gives me more opportunity than at a mainstream event, where the directors are looking for fair-skinned caucasian women who are my height and weigh signifigantly less.

Fuckers.

But I am very afraid of African American entertainment. Although hip-hop is blowing up, are those of us getting in on the ground level of black run-entertainment really going to be doing anything once the "Coolness" of the urban vibe dies? I mean, I have no urban vibe, but in a picture, I sure is urban!

So I'm being very selective with whom I associate with. I want to deal with black folks like myself. Who are smart first, and urban second. Why you ask? Because I'm sure they'll make it, and I don't want to be associated with anything ghetto.

I got a flyer for these people who are running a fashion show titled, "Drop it like it'z hot." I will not be attending. It seems quite Hooch, and girls-gone-mildy-wild ish. I don't want to work with them.... I wouldn't want to have pictures of me all hoochified being passed out. I want to stay at least a little me, and start working on my image- now.

Yeah-- I was in the movie with the girl who did the sex scenes, but I was directing that scene-- not worrying if the side of my tit was showing. I got punched in the face in the movie, cried, and yelled. I'm an actress, not a porn star, folks. Showing my ass, or being overtely objectified (we're always being objectified as chicks and broads, I mean, really) is not quite my cup of tea. I have a bit of an attitude problem, (Especially right now... I'm PMS ing) so anyone who asks me to do that kind of scene will be nicely supprised if they try to convince me that anything involving nudity will advance my career.

*Snaps fingers*

Well, I'd write more, but I should be leaving to go to work now. Talk to you people later, and ask me to do the five questions thing, it's fun! -read the entry below- :-)

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Tuesday, Jul. 15, 2003 at around: 2:18 PM

Five questions

Questions provided by a one miss Jessica for me to answer. Yay! This is like a diary chain letter, but I�m a sucker for these things. In my opinion, this is WAY better than me actually writing an entry right now... about anything. I considered waiting a few days before posting this, but what the hell.

Here are her questions:

1) Why did you choose diaryland, over a paper diary and all those other sites (livejournal, opendiary, etc.)?

Well, I can�t say that I, �Chose� diaryland. I got a diaryland account because my friend, Latrice (who has been a frequent star in this particular journal as of late) had a diaryland page. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. This was ages before weblogs were cool-- like 2001 or something. I didn�t find out about livejournal or diaryx until after the blogathon.

I do have a paper diary. I used to keep up on writing in it as well as this one, but I haven�t had the insperation to write in it for almost two months. This is nothing at all like what I write in my paper diary. My paper diary is much more personal, and real. This is like a nice irreverent view of my life, without supplying too much detail to the general public, as well as my friends, who also read this.

2) I noticed that you have a few other online journals; what's the reason for dividing them up?

Ha ha! Well, I�ve divided them up mostly for some personal security. I wanted a way to shout out how I really feel emotionally (that�d be my oreobarbie account) as well as have a spot for me just to rant (meet miabogard... miabogard, meet everyone!). Oreobarbie gave me a chance to post some poems and be a little serious, without being as whiny as I try my best to be here. :-) For a while I ran a sorta-review site, and that was fun, but I got too busy to keep it up, now I kinda wish I never stoped working on it.

3) What are your thoughts on affirmative action?

I believe that all of gods children were created equal, and world peace is imperative to a quality future for all of the starving children everywhere. And bunnies. *giggle* *applause* That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I�m not miss philadelphia. Well, anyway... Affermitive action was, as much as I believe it�s an assinine concept, a great stepping-stone to equality in higher education and some workplaces.

Personally, I believe that your qualifications should be the most important denominator in attaining anything-- a job, college acceptance, getting into a bar, whatever. I mean, who wants some ugly girls blonde being allowed into a club with lots of hot guys just because the girls stood in line? That�s not right or fair. They could at least ask what their bra size is first. I mean, really; hair is not a qualifier. It�s all about if they give good head or not.

Seriously, though- I�m a black woman (I am! Really, I am!), and I think I�ve done fairly well with my life. Most things I�ve accomplished have been out of hard work, and if it wasn�t working for them, then I lucked my way into them. I don�t want anyone to give me something just because I�m black, just the same as I don�t want anyone else to get something just because of their race. It�s stupid to just pick some random black kid off the street who didn�t try in school, and admit them to Yale, simply because they applied. That�s not right, or fair. They could at least ask if you got a 3.75 gpa. I mean really, race is not a factor. It�s all about what you can do.

I want to earn what I recieve. It should be that way for every �minority� person in the US. Unless there was a deal or a prommise (I remember something about a few acers and a quadreped... hmm) involved, there should be no free rides... unless situations where large amounts of money are conserned. That flips the script completley.

Isn�t that what democracy is all about?

Sadly, I have to say that affermitave action did open the eyes of a few college admissions braintrusts. After working for a company that dealt closely with graduate level admissions offices, I came to realize that most of them were very ignorant, and still lived comfortably in the dark ages of equal rights.

Wow, I didn�t know I had such an opinion on affermitive action, lol.

4) What do you think your best quality is?

Ummm... that�s a toughie. I don�t think I really have a �Best� quality. I also don�t think I�m very good at anything, so I have to think about this for a second.... Hmmm... Uh... Okay... I think my best quality is the friendship that I offer to everyone, mostly without question. I make a pretty good friend, and yeah- that is me tooting my own horn. I�m an okay listener, and trust me- I�ll listen to just about anything if you need an ear.

5) Did you go to college? If so, where, and do you have any advice for lil old me? Are you happy with your decision to go to college/to opt out of college?

Um, okay-- I did go to college. For a while. Then I kind of stopped going.

Damn, I guess I do have to tell the story again. Okay, I started taking college classes shortly before my 14th birthday. I never went to highschool, because the options were, �Go to college, or go to highschool� I bet you can�t figure what I picked.

Places I attended classes: Community college of philadelphia, temple university, Computer learning center. Places I graduated from: Computer learning center.

I don�t have a degree, and I really regret not finishing it off. My best reccomendation to you is to try not to peg yourself into any one major in your first semester. Feel school out and get an idea of what you like. Follow the classes you do well in, because those may be the classes you want to major in. It took me quite a while to realize that I loved writing way way more than any brand of science. If you know what you really want, go for it, and best of luck. No one can make up your mind but you.

Wow, that�s some shitty advice, lol.

Okay here's how this thing works:

1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.

2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.

3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.

4 -- You'll include this explanation.

5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.