change... and money

I have to learn how to keep my mouth shut.

That's a challenge if I've ever heard one.

See, I try to keep other people's buisness to myself, except for you know, if said indivudual is just a retard. But for the most part, if I really give a damn about you, your buisness stays with me, unless I consider what I'm talking about to be my buisness.

Apperently a lot of shit that I think Is my business isn't, and nobody tells me this! Well, anyway, I'm going to learn to shut the fuck up.

Jesus, first my mom tells me to learn to open up, and then she tells me to shut the fuck up.

What the fuck.

Oh, speaking of jesus, saw that Jesus movie.

I felt so dirty saying, "Two for the eight thirty passion of christ please." Ew. I shoulda just said, "Two for the jesus movie, please!"

The jesus movie was really good, and reminded me that I knew a lot about that whole Christ story and the bible and stuff. Unlike the Lord of the Rings, where I only read the pre-story, I had read the pre-story, as well as the actual story for this movie.

It was just like the book!

It was really sad, and a little too graphic for me to handle at some points, but I talked to my mom about the moive, and she said that she thought the movie did just what Mel Gibson wanted- to which I resopnded, "It's making lots of money?" and she said, "Well, that, and it's encouraging people to talk about jesus and god again."

Deep.

SEPTA (The South Eastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority) is going on strike. SEPTA is the only transportation avalible in the Philadelphia Metro Area.

I think it's so weak when SEPTA strikes, because there are thousands of people who just can't get to work if there aren't any trains and busses to get them there.

SEPTA, You're lame.

It's rough, because I understand why they're striking and whatnot, but damn. That's seriously weak.

In other news, I bought the Outkast CD.

God damn. I just can't stop shaking it.

Both CD's are pretty awesome, although I'm an Andre 3000 fan (another fellow aquarian), Big Boi (a gemini) is one of the funnier rappers I've heard, and I actually dig it.

Perhaps I'll buy Ludacris' CD as well. Chicken and beer, I believe is the title of the Ludacris CD. Chicken and motherfucking beer. God damn. Good job transending those stereotypes, Luda.

But anyway, getting back to Outkast, the entire "The Love Below" cd sounds like shit that I wrote after I broke up with my first boyfriend- a bunch of direct, to the point, this is why you hurt my little sensitive feelings, but I'm an insensitive bitch and you should have been nicer to me, because I'm a good person, but I like to talk shit, and did I mention you were an asshole, sort of lyrics.

I was inspired to write songs again (or at least poetry with consistant rhythm) because of their CD.

Anyone who can have a track on their cd caled, "Where are my panties?" Deserves all the Grammies they can handle.

I'm also slowly becoming addicted to the new britney spears single, Toxic. No, really. I am. It makes me want to dance, and perhaps shake it like a Polaroid Picture.

So about this entertainment carreer I'm supposed to be working on.

I've been really lazy, I have all this other stuff to catch up on.

Oh, yeah, and I have all these excuses, too.

It all comes down to the headshots. I need them. I need them to get exposure, work, the whole nine. But everything relies on me getting my financial shit together, which seems to be taking for-ev-er.

It's all happening slowly but surely. Next month, the monolouge class starts over again. I'll pay for that, and maybe make a friend in class who can hook me up with low cost photos.

There is a photographer in south philly who's portfolio I'm fond of, and has a makeup artist who doesn't make black women look like we just walked out from Ground Zero. So maybe I'll save two hundred additional dollars (my planned savings goes up once a month now, lol) and have him take my headshots, and 3/4 shots.

Money sucks.

Speaking of money, I have to get back to work.

Love and adoration,

pam