Friday Five: An awesome birthday present

Friday Five:

This would be a kick-ass birthday present!!!

You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first?

First, I�d walk out of my job, just for a break. I would call Frank, and I�d fuck with him ... pretending like I was asking him for money or something, and then tell him, �Sweetie, you know what, I don�t need it.�
�Why? What are you talking about? You�re not making any sense,� he�d say. Then I�d be all like, �I WON A MILLION DOLLARS! WOO! I�m RIIICH BEE-YOTCH,� and fall into a fit of laughter. Then I�d consider quitting, but probabally wouldn�t, unless frank thought it was a good idea, lol. He�s much more level headed than I am.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?

After going to the bank, and getting IRAs and CDs and stuff to prevent me from -not- having a large sum of money after a year? I�d buy a nice Lunch... And after I ate, I�d pay off my immediate debts --reparing my credit. That would be painful, but I�d do it. After that, I�d go shopping for an inexpensive, economical, good-milage-gettin�, japanese car. A sky blue 2001 honda accord (or perhaps a cherry-red 2001 civic?), with a cloth interior and a bangin� sound system. And I�d look into getting a suburban home in Haddonfeild. With repaired credit I might be able to get a mortgage on a little house, making a substancial down-payment. Then I�d buy all the stuff I need for Las Vegas! And I�d buy new shoes. I need new shoes.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?

I�d buy similar non-gas guzzling vehicles for Frank and my mom. And I�d buy frank a new cell phone, lol.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?

I�d give several thousand dollars to both my mom and to frank, to help them get out of debt, and pay for insurance on their new cars, lol. I doubt I�d give large sums of money to any of my other friends, and I�d probabally get really defensive about letting -anyone- outside of mom and Frank borrow anything from me. Money does evil things to people. No offense guys. I�d donate maybe a couple hundred dollars to Amnesty International, Planned Parenthood and Book Aid.

5. Do you invest any? If so, how?

Yes, yes, yes. The idea of investing large sums of money gets me wet. I�ve always wanted to put a few thousand into a 10-year bond, or maybe some CDs. I�d have to invest at least half of the money. I�d also have to open an IRA or something like that, so that I don�t lose a lot of money to my own poor spending habits. I would use some of the money to start up the inner-city reading program that I developed and never did anything with.

And of course I�d want a pretty house with a lawn, and trees, and a veggie garden, a golden retriver puppy, stuff for my cat, and a swing set (not for any potential children, the fucking swing set is for me). And a flat panel, plasma teleivsion on the ceiling above my bed.