Rules of drunkeness drunkendensts... drnk

I like to drink, and there are rules to drinking. Most of them I do my best to follow. I've been to broke to be hangin' out in bars as of late, but I'm on my way there.

The rules, were written by the guys who publish Modern Drunkard Magazine. I worked with them as a PA on their latest b- movie. I had a great time, and they're fun guys.

The rules are listed here: On Modern Drunkard Magazine

And here are some of my favorites:

FACTS:

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

FACT:

33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

40. If you have ever told a bartender, �Hey, it all spends the same,� then you are a cheap ass.

I learned this one from dealing with drunken wedding patrons:

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

I've done this one, and caught a little hell for doing it once:

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.

FACT (and I've been told that I look really great when I do karaoke, and this was by some really drunk dude, and I was pretty smashed meself):

41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.

Love and adoration,

Pam