T.M.I

WARNING: This entry is gross

TMI Stands for too much information, and I'm totally about to give you way too much information.

If you get grossed out easily, or if you're going to give me shit for writing something you didn't want to read, just stop reading now, because I don't want to hear your shit.

Thanks.

Okay, so, a week or so I was invited to a Lord of the Rings hot tub party. It was a party, and there was lord of the rings, but no hot tub. I was disapointed. But prior to leaving for this party I shaved my bikini area. Now, when preparing to actually be seen in a bathing suit by people who aren't accustomed to my naked body, I generally have the decency to shave, and I'm rather maticulous about it, because I think hairy chicks on the beach or in a pool are gross.

So I shave my legs, my armpits, my pubes, and the hair around my butthole. Yes, everyone has hair grow on their assholes, and I have it too.

Anyway, I tend to be rather swift with my shaving motions, and occasionally get razor bumps, and even more rarely I cut myself.

This is not a story about me cutting my asshole open with a razor, okay?

I get razor bumps and no matter how many showers I take a day, no matter how anal (ha) I am about keeping my private areas with said bumps dry, I occasionally end up with a razor bump pimple from an ingrown hair or something. They're kind of painful, but they always go away once the hair grows out. Sometimes they'll get icky like a for real pimple, with pus and the whole nine.

I got one of those on my inner butt cheek.

It hurt like a sonofabitch, and it was about the size of what would be considered a large pimple on someone's cheek. Now, I'm a little ocd when it comes to pimples, and I have an issue with things being on my skin, so last night after a friendly visit from frank, I took the thrid shower of the day, and as I washed my ass, I realized the fucking pimple was still there.

I picked at it a little, and it just hurt like fucking hell, so I left it alone. I read for a while, was on the phone, and finally went to sleep-- but the pain in my ass (litterally!) just wouldn't stop annoying me.

When my alarm started going off this morning, I reached down near my ass and started picking at the ass-razor-bump-pimple. It had gotten fat and ripe for the plucking from all my picking at it, so I got out of bed and went into the bathroom, my eyes half shut, climed on to my sink on my knees and lifted my right leg up to examine the bastard.

There it was.

My nemisis. The little fucker was mocking me with it's pimply look-- a little paler than the rest of my skin, and bulging up from the skin 'round my ass like it meant to pop up and destroy something. So I destroyed it before it could burst when I sat down too hard.

I fucked that bitch up. I popped it, and I swear to fucking god, I have never seen anything leave from my SKIN with a "Pop" sound and fly from my body to the mirror. It was absolutely disgusting, but I was proud. Mostly what came out was blood, and a little pus, and a chunk of pimply material. That area near my ass was fucking sore. I took me a shower, and celibrated my victory over the pus on my skin.

Like I said, this was a fucking gross story, and if you read this far, I totally warned you.

love and adoration,

Pam