Boys suck

I'm a little peeved. Not because of anything that just happened. But just at things in general.

I don't understand men, and the tend to upset me. I let the happenings of the male percentage of the population get to me. They confuse me into wonderment, and I end up flat on my ass every time. I don't command their attention knowingly, however it happens. When it does happen, I usually end up out of luck.

I'm perhaps the only girl I know who has such little emotional control and so very much physical and mental restraint. There is no possible way that I've gone an entire year without being referred to as someone's other half, or being fifty percent of a relationship.

Relationships and commitment frighten me, however I can't stand living without them. It's terrible. It's absurd. It's the truth.

What ever happened to my good old "You take what I give you" attitude? Why can't I have the power that I had as a kid, now?

I just outright suck, and there isn't so much that I can do about that.

I haven't been in love in a couple of years. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks.

Love and adoration.....

Pam

Written, Wednesday, Sept. 04, 2002 at around: 7:49 AM

I am so goddamn exausted

I was sitting here thinking about writing an entry about something cool, and then I realized how stupid I am at 7:50 in the morning. It got hot last night, so I put the air conditioners on.

I've been pretty broke lately so I can't afford big electric bills anymore, so I had to turn one of them off, and I turned down the one in my room. That was a very dumb idea. It was so hot when I was sleeping last night that I had trouble staying completley knocked out.

But when my alarm started going off, I sure didn't hear it. I didn't even really look at what time it was when I was beating the living crap out of the alarm clock to make it stop making noise. I foolishly just turned the air up in my room, but I have to leave soon.

I need to stop going out during the week. Maybe that will stop my tiredness. I thought it was because I'm not eating right. Maybe that has something to do with it. You know what I just thought about? I'm supprised that I'm capible of typing so fast when I can bearly see clearly.

I think that this time next year I might start seriously start looking for another job. Perhaps this spring I'll take another class or two, and show some slight interest in my future. I really wish I had decided to go to college in light of attending trade school. I may have been poor, but I'da been a poor college graduate.

Well, it's 7:57 now, and I have to run to the bus stop, brush my teeth and pee. Wish me luck, because I don't know if I'll be able to pee once I get on the bus. They stopped me last time, mid-squat.

Love and adoration,

Pammie

Written, Tuesday, Sept. 03, 2002 at around: 9:33 PM

a karaoke first

Tonight will be a first.

No, not the diary that I've been ignoring. A first as in the First Night of karaoke after my first singing lesson. It's all rather exciting. I'm going to try out some of the techniques that Christina taught me. I'm hoping to knock em dead at Finn Macool's tonight.

I'm going to try singing Unbreak my heart, and see how well I can perform it in front of an audiance. I've practiced it a few times, but not enough times to say I'm Grrrrrrrrreat.

Well, I've got on a cute outfit (Which I'm considering changing... this dress is too nice for fin maccools.)

There. I've changed.

Well, I'm going to head off to karaoke. Wish me luck! (What the hell am I talking about?)

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Sunday, Sept. 01, 2002 at around: 10:48 AM

Monkey Ball.

I fucking hate monkeys.

Well, not really, they're mammals just like you and I, however they've begun their world takeover plan. It's going to be just like Planet of the Apes, dude. First they release that shitty movie where Marky Mark kisses a female monkey, and now there are their evil games.

I own both of them, in fact. These games, Super Monkey Ball, and Super Monkey Ball 2 are pure evil. They were crafted by satan himself. Well, perhaps not satan, because I'm sure there's a new edition of windows coming out soon, and I'm sure that Bill has more profitable ideas on his mind than super monkey ball. Besides, the X-box isn't doing as well as they had hoped, so Satan's minions must put more and more money into that failing product. That wouldn't allow them the time to focus on producing a game as evil as Super Monkey Ball.

Okay, these games that I'm talking about are only out for Game Cube. It would be awesome if they came out with a version for Game Boy Advance. If you want to play, go to this site and you can play a mini-game version of Super Monkey ball 2. It's three of the side games, and they play almost like the actual Game Cube verison.

I played this evil game last night with Frank. He's pretty good, man. We had an interesting battle in monkey fight. Monkey fight kind of sucks, but it's much better when only a couple of people play. You'll understand this better after you get yourself a game cube and start playing.

Anyway, I put some more thought into the Potenital situation with frank. I'm not sure if it's possible that I could have put any more thought into this, but oh well. Now that he's single he needs time to collect his bearings and become a whole person. I know all about not wanting to hop into a relationship right away. It's always nice to remember how good it is to be single. So I'll keep off of him for a while and be that cool aquarius that always seems to make the water signs come running.

Putting the ball into the court of a Pisices is pretty painful. Especially one who shares my venus: Capricorn. Dude is all kinds of laid back, and doesn't talk about stuff much, like myself, but goddamn. I think he's just gonna do things his way, and I'm still going to have to initaite things. There's a reason they say I'm a "Fixed" sign.

Well, I suppose there isn't much point on dwelling on it. I'm going to play more monkeyball.

Love and Adoration,

Pam

Written, Saturday, Aug. 31, 2002 at around: 12:13 PM

Sure, I'll pay

Good morning,

Yes on the weekend 12:00 is morning. Oddly enough, I'm not on my way over to Game Stop. I know, that's like the shocker of all shockers.

Well, Frank is on vacation, so I don't really think I'll hurring over there. Don't tell anyone, but I think I need a game stop vacation too. The other day, I was in the shopping center and I just plain avoided Game Stop. I think ths will be a good thing for me.

Tomorrow, I think I'll go to New York City. Maybe I'll get some other people to come with me. If anyone does go, I'm sure that I'll pay for gas, out of total guilt, and also because it'll probabally be my idea.

Being a girl is a good thing, because sometimes guys won't even bother asking you for money. Then again, it sucks, because of the type of person I am. I feel guilty, because I'm not contribuiting. So the words My Treat have to be pushed in every now and then.

Yeeeah,

Love and adoration

Written, Thursday, Aug. 29, 2002 at around: 1:32 AM

This is Pam's entry.

Well, I have that whole, "I don't know what the fuck to do about my layout" problem solved.

Tyler told me to alter my layout in homage to him. We all worked for Tyler. I even bought his soap.

Okay, I'm getting weird.

Today was yet another exausting day. It's all a part of being 21 I suppose. I went to game stop, hung out there for a while. Frank wasn't feeling well, and when I said I'd ride in the car with him, he almost sounded like I'd spit in his soda or something. So I pretty much got the hint, and went home. I took Darrell with me. He's a fun dude.

We played super monkey ball for a while, and then tiffany called me saying that she wanted to go to karaoke on south street. I'm always down for karaoke, so off I went. Karaoke was fun, and I'm all hyped up for those singing lessons that I need. Heh.

Then after karaoke I came home, fed and watered my cat, and hopped onto the internet. What a geek I be. I need to go take a shower, though.

I have to take pop-pop to the hospital tomorrow. That stinks. I do get to spend some time out of the office, though. I haven't quite informed my employers of this, but they'll find out soon enough. Tomorrow is gonna be one of them days. Darrell told me that he and a bunch of other guys including Frank and this dude Matt are going to atlantic city tomorrow. I don't think I'll be able to go, but I'll see.

Well, I'm tired, and I have to wake up tomorrow morning. enjoy my layout, and comments would be apreciated.

Love and adoration,

Pam