Mental Health Day

I'm not at work right now.

I called out because I was afraid of losing my mind.

Yesterday sucked... well up until like, 7, when I saw frank's face for the first time... yesterday was filled to the brim with steaming bullshit throughout my workday, and my mom acting like an asshole was no real help. Working with a parent isn't as easy as one would imagine. I don't have to work directly with her (often), but occasionally I do have to give her work, or solve problems for her. That's fun. But being in the same office with her sucks so badly.

Well, I guess if my mom wasn't crazy, working with her wouldn't be such a task, but alas, she is crazy, and alas, it's a task. *sad music plays *bummmm bummm booommmm*

The evening was *good* really fucking good. I had me an awesome time, even if I was left mildly unsatisified by the events. It was fun! Frank, Liza and I hung out. We went to fridays and hung out at my joint. I had a really great time, except for frank's tire blowing out. That was kind of scary, actually.

Not that changing a tire is a frightining ordeal-- or terribly difficult, it's just the circimstances. His tire blew out on a fairly busy-ish street in the middle of the night, on a slope-ish street. So it was was difficult for frank to lift up high enough to get the wheel off the ground... and the cars were passing by, which scared the shit outta me. Frank totally had his legs under the car while it was up on the jack, and cars are passing by, kinda moving the damn car. The jack was a little wobbly, so I'm all like, "Wholy fuck, don't let this car fall on my boyfriend's legs!!!"

Then, for a while- as he was searching for a spot to stick the jack underneath the car, he was laying on the ground, legs sticking out from underneath the car. Cars were coming from everywhere, and I was like, "None of these motherfuckers better think of even getting close to running my boyfriend over!" I had to stand in the street for a while, because I was all worried.

This nice guy came along, and gave frank some extra tools to change his tire-- 'cause his flashlight was outta batteries, and his good car jack was at home. It was all nice of him. Yay!

Speaking of Frank F-to-the-bizzy-- I was on the phone with him for a really long time last night. It was good to have a long-ass phone conversation with him. I love him.

*yawns* Well, I'm only up because I had to call out of work. I'm going to continue this quality mental health day by going to sleep.

Alright, I'll update again later folks. PEACE!

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Tuesday, Jul. 29, 2003 at around: 11:43 AM

Untying stomach knots

I'm very busy, but I'm taking a break before someone gets an unnessacary earful.

As much as I'm fufilled after a day like today is turning out to be, actually getting through it is rough. Last night, I was at work until 5:40pm. 5:40! There are a ton of things popping up here and there. Apperently no one here believes in documenting how they got things accomplished, so I'm kind of winging this project they gave me. There's currently four departments involved, and in my opinion that's too many... however, I really need the input of everyone involved-- why? Because no one tells me shit!! Communicaiton is the key, and the only other person involved in this evil mailing that understands that has very, very little to do with that. that's awesome and shitty all at once.

My chest started hurting again today, and I think that's totally stress related. Oh my god, I'm really stressed out, and it's effecting my health! The next thing you know I'll be 30 years old, or something. Ew. LOL, in 8 years when I read that again, I'll be all pissed off that I thought 30 was gross, and be like, "Girl, if you only knew then what I knew now," or somethign like that.

So, let's see, what's going on? Um, Ali wants to go karaokeing, which sounds *VERY* awesome, and I've been dying to do that for a while... I have a few dollars *read, 10* Today looks like I'm kinda broke, tired, and have other plans... lol. Maybe we'll go on satruday. I'll talk to her about it later on today. Finally I'm coming from underneath this anti-social rock-- I have this longing desire to plan events, and have people go to new places. Perhaps I'll get all the girls together and take a trip to a center cityish bar with cheapish beverages. How long has it been since I did that? Even more than that, I'd like to organize an after-work beverage fest with the ladies of Promotional Marketing Mag. That'd be fun. I'd like to see sarah drunk. *_*

I haven't had money in a long time, so I haven't done shit, lol. That's changing. Yay! Soon my bills will be paid off. that's a damn good feeilng. I'll still be in debt from other things, but I'll have my utlities taken care of. I need to make a lot more money. A lot.

I'm worth more than what I'm making, and that pisses me off every now and then. That's kind of why I don't feel guilty about writing this entry right now. LOL.

I wore my pretty green dress to work today. I like wearing it, I feel very girly in it. I also have on my new comfy (cheap) payless sandals on. They don' t hurt my feet too much. If only I could find a way to make walking on the ground outside comfortable-- I'd never have to wear shoes, except for in the wintertime. Sometimes when I'm running around the office here, I sorta miss working at edu, because I could go around barefoot and no one gave a damn. Here, I think I'd get a few weird looks. I walk around my cubicle with no shoes on, which is fun.

Okay, I have a bunch of stuff to go and ask, tell, desgin, edit, etc.

Written, Monday, Jul. 28, 2003 at around: 5:01 PM

I'm Deaf.

You can blame this chick for having to read this. Go to the spark and do this too, if you like.

Like just 6% of the population you are a PERFORMER (DEAF)--personable, self-assured, and excellent under pressure. You are extroverted and strong-willed, which, in combination means you are good with people and aren't willing to let opportunity pass you by. Congratulations. I'm sure all the peons you've stepped on never saw it coming and didn't feel a thing.

You like being naked.

Anyhow, you have formidable creative talents, and you often following what your heart tells you instead of your logical mind. Your exuberance can earn you many friends and admirers, despite your ambition, or it can intimidate the less confident into keeping their distance. It's also possible you're Madonna.

I do like being naked! :-) I'm totally not madonna, though.

Damn these tests being right. I've taken this test a bunch of times in the past, and I used to always get the flower child response. This is correct for who I am, though. I take life by the horns most of the time, and I have no difficulty making friends or getting to know people. Sometimes I'm even a little pushy... lol

I'm a big more manipulative than the test eludes to, though. I'm not always direct and in your face. No no no, not always.

That's it.