the second attempt at writing this entry

Hello there friends and others,

It's rather early in my day, and I've already eaten, been to Sharee's house, and slipped in a retail establishment. I even got to see a quick fire Guestbook Battle right after I got home. Fun.

Okay, it's Gollem... my bad.

Anyway, This is one of those entries that I've been trying to write for over 8 hours. I started writing something late last night, and it didn't quite come out the way I wanted, so I closed the window and went back to sleep. I should be sleeping right now, but that would make sense, everyone knows we never makes any sense! Yes we do... No we don't!!

Right. So, last night I had company. Like there was more than one person in my apartment who wasn't me. Wow. That hasn't happened in a couple of months. Wait, last month John and Jason came over. Anyway, Darrell, Frank and Sharee came over. We had a good time. We had some yummy sparkling zinfendel. It was strawberry-ish.

I really need to put some effort into cleaning my apartment. Like, seriously. Living in my own filth isn't so bad, because I'm not here often, but it's rather horrid to put other people through this apartment. Maybe I can find a mexican woman who I can pay 10 dollars a week to clean up after my nasty ass.

The fridge really needs to be cleaned. It's scary in there. The fridge now has it's own distinct odor, and I refrain from opening it as much as possible. At least the ants are gone. Yeah, I had a serious ant problem for a while. It was weird. After a bottle of bleach, and some spray, they went away, and I haven't seen one in months.

Oh god, I'm gross. I think it's because I don't cook anymore. Maybe there's something psychological that makes me not want to cook anymore, because I really enjoyed cooking once. Now it reminds me of days past which I don't want to think about, nor do I truly want to mention. Maybe cooking will waltz back into my life at some point.

Today I was told that I'm a good advisor and motivator. Is that my calling? I was thinking about getting back into shape and becoming a personal trainer. But you know, that takes effort. Maybe that whole "Motivator/advisor" thing was why I liked working with Cristina on her plans to take over the world, oh so many months ago (like three, but whatever.) She was motivated to do something she'd been putting off, and I gladly grabbed the ball, took her orders, and ran for a mile with it.

I was born for the world of middle managment. Ew. Not in charge, but not a shmuck like all the rest of the drones. That was kind of my life at EDU too. I was a shmuck, but I got to make important decisons. Well, that was until I Cristina and I fucked myself out of my job. Not one of my brightest ideas, but still, I'm happy not to work there anymore.

Well, I'm going to go take a nap now, because I have a horrible sinus hedache which I swear is gnawing at my brain.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2003 at around: 12:48 AM

A long entry, however worth the read. (strip clubs and lesbians abounds!)

Oh boy.

I'm a little irate at the present time. For starters, I've attempted for over 45 minutes to create a somewhat amusing and eye pleasing layout to encase my scribblings on the web. As you can see, I've subsequently failed. Photoshop Elements isn't working for me, so it's difficult for me to figure out web-safe colors. This means that you poor sods have to decode what I've written. Trying to please mister golem over there, to the left, is difficult.

He's not fond of many font colors. I'll find a better color than this horrid black later, once I've regained whatever sanity there is left for me to claim.

Golem over there was emailed to me by, you guessed it- Mister Boyfriend himself. It was a larger image, with no funky text on it. You can blame that on me. Frank is of no assistance in getting me out of this lord of the rings kick. That isn't bad or anything, but it's a little funny that every time he gets into conversation, something LOTR (oh man, my geek quotient went up ten fold with that anagram) comes out of his mouth. Ha ha ha.

Anyway, I was just thinking that I haven't spoken to Crazian John lately. Like, I saw him yesterday, however I haven't had a phone conversation with him for an extended period of time in a couple of days. That's strange. Usually he'll call me. Maybe he's in one of those funky crazian moods.

A couple of hours ago, I visited sharee. Her mom is like a real mom. Well, kind of. When I visit, she makes me feel welcome. It's almost like having a family when I go over there. Sharee's mom will cook food, and do mom stuff. While she cooks, the two 22 year old girls sit and act like children. We act like sisters, and assholes.

I always wanted a sister when I was little. Being raised as an only child is really lonely. It's not too bad, because I'm crazy enough to enjoy playing with myself, and still do to this day. Wait... that sounded bad. ...nevermind. Uh, okay, so like I was saying... I had an imaginary friend when I was little, and all my dolls kept me company. It's funny because you'd think that now I'd want to live with another person or something, but I really hate living with other humans. Ask gabi, she'll tell you. *rental record: "Does not live well with others"* Maybe the solitary lifestyle got to me or something.

Oooh, good news! Someone who never really gets mentioned in this journal, but lives in the glossary contacted me today!! Samantha (the dancer best friend) sent me a birthday card! I was so happy, because I've been terribly worried about her. I can't wait until I can call her, because I'd love for her to visit.

I haven't seen her in over a year. Wow... is that true? Maybe not, but whatever. It's been a really long time. I really miss crazy drunken Samantha. We have still yet to go out and get a drink together. Samantha and I have been friends since we were like 17 or 18. She's had a rather wacky life. She's also rather wacky, so we get along really well.

Samantha is very pretty, and I told her a long time ago, that I was attracted to her. Sam is strictly dickly, but whatever. See, that's the biggest problem with being bisexual. Girls don't wanna experiment. I'm a friend, I can be trusted! Plus, I won't getcha pregnant. Samantha's a dancer, so I sort of understand her lack of get-wetted-ness over the female body, but come on man. Give a sista a break.

Anyway-- that brings me to a much more important conversation. The Pam Theory on strip clubs.

Strip clubs are a fairly important part of our society. They help men figure out their sexuality, release sexual frustration, and provide lots of women with tax-free income. Many girlfriends and wives, however, seem to have this big problem with their signifigant other patronizing such establishments.

I say, "to hell with that." I really said that just now.

See ladies, when a man goes to a strip club, he's going there to be sexually aroused. Very few (normal) guys go to the strip club with the intention of having sex with any of the employees. They might imagine it while they're there, but that's natural. Most guys even go to these "Gentlemen's clubs" with other guys. In general, straight guys don't want to think about other guys fucking. Trust me.

They go there to see what they aren't usually allowed to see. Being allowed to see, and be aroused by women they will never make any emotional connection with, and have no particular desire to speak to again, has a certian allure. it gives guys a sense of detachment, and allows them to get rock hard, and not give a damn.

This is where the "This is a good thing" part comes in. See, if a guy goes to a strip club, and gets a good lap dance by some sexy woman who he paid, he has to leave at some point. That means, that he's leaving the establisment still aroused, and he has a strong desire to do something about how he's feeling.

So, in most cases, the dude comes home, or to wherever you, the female in question, reside. He will then provide you with an ample, and quality fucking. Trust me. If I wasn't bi, and didn't go to strip clubs, I'd still encourage it. Yeah, I said it. Honestly, if you're going to be a chick, and be jealous, don't be hatin' on the stripper. She's just trying to get a dollar. You don't get angry at the chef that made a dinner yummier than what you make at home, do you? No, because you know that at the end of the day, he'll eat you up anyway... um, I mean he'll eat your cooking anyway. lol!

There's nothing to be jealous about, because at the end of the night, he's still with you. Unless he's a real smut, and enjoys sleeping with strange women without letting you know of such behaviour. That might be an issue ya'll need to work out.

Ah, PamStripology. It has been said. I suppose my next entry of this nature will be written on masturbation. God damn, I'm such a letch. *smile* okay, I'm done writing, and I'm no longer irate.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Tuesday, Feb. 11, 2003 at around: 5:40 PM

Where is the horse and the rider?

Dear Journal Readers:

Uber geek here. Known as the barbie who cherishes the oreo, and girlfriend to Manager Geek. I write with an urgent message, so read this well.

Actually, I have no important message whatsoever, I'm just in a fairly lord of the rings moment, and I needed to express it somehow. I saw some lord of the rings posters yesterday, and I knnd of wanted one. I love my anime, however I'm getting tired of it.

The Decour of this apartment needs to change. I like my Amelie movie poster. Perhaps decorating in all movie posters will be the way from here on out. Redecorating isn't really in the budget right now, but it sounds like more fun that supermarket shopping, so I'm game.

Anyway, I haven't had a good night's sleep in 4 days or so. This is due mostly to people calling up at hours prior to 12:00 noon. I shake fist. So, I'm going to go take a nap for now. Wish me good dreams, and I'll probabally have more to talk about whenever I get up.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Monday, Feb. 10, 2003 at around: 11:50 PM

Yay, to day didn't suck

Brrrrrrrr... it's COLD outside!

Okay, not so obvious realizations today:

1. I'm a complete pervert.

2. My boyfriend is terribly sweet.

3. I am not a morning person.

4. My mom is pretty smart, for a crazy person.

5. I'm a complete pervert.

Yeah, well that being said-- I have to gush about Frank. I know, I know-- I'll do my best to keep it breif. Today Darrell, John, Frank, Jason (not in the glossary), and I went to the mall. We went to the Christiana mall, which is in deleware. That's not such a big deal, because deleware is close. Thing is, I had forgotten how far the mall was from civlization.

Anyway, we go there, and saw the best that deleware had to offer. It isn't much, trust me. Then we roll back to philly, minus Darrell. So we hit the city and head over to Jason's house to watch wrestling. Wrestling kinda sucked, but we had a good time anyway. After we finished watching tv, Frank, John and I left to go hike to Frank's car. We had only gotten about a block and a half before the cold starts whoopin' my ass. Then out of nowhere, frank's like, "Cold?" and I'm like, "Yeah." All I know was it was cold, and then he put his coat on me.

Major brownie points for Frank. Classic nice guy stuff, and very well excecuted. Why? Because I'm pretty sure if he had asked me if I wanted his coat, I would have turned him down, claiming that the cold wasn't that bad.

So now I attempt downloading illegal flims for him.

Okay, so much for keeping this short. Ha ha ha ha.

I've got shit to delete from my shitty little hard drive. So I bid thee ado.

Love and adoration,

Pam