How many updates?!?

Yo,

It's way early, and I'm preparing to go get my job on. I'm closing in on my 400th entry. Actually, I'm pretty sure that I have written more than 400 entries. This journal has been a part of my life for almost as long as I've lived in this apartment. Those entries would probabally be much greater in number if I didn't like to go on entry removal sprees. I've deleted quite a few over the years-- perhaps 30 or more.

What were they about? Shit. They were about shit. Shit, shitting, and my stupidity. To most of you, it probabaly seems like that's all I write about anyway-- but ho ho, my little lotus blossoms. You think you know, but you have no idea.

This should be my 358th entry or something like that. Maybe I should do a 400th entry special or something like that. This journal is like one of those long-running tv shows, that has a specail episode when they hit a large, even number of episodes. Well, if this is only my 358th entry, there's plenty of planning time.

You know what would be cool? I should get some of the people who read this to subimit stuff to me and I'll post it. That'd be kinda neat. Maybe I'll think of something creative by the 380th entry... I'm open to suggestions.

I've gotta go now, but I'm sure I'll update later on this afternoon.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Monday, Mar. 31, 2003 at around: 10:35 AM

Hope for the optimist

There is, in fact a god,

Well, maybe not. There are starving children in Kenya, war is raging in the middle east, and there are unsightly stains on the shirts of good people everywhere. Then again, the christian/judaic god is a vengful one. War, insanity, and pesky insect problems were all caused by this dude.

I don't know, nor do I often care if I believe in god or not. But good things do happen to good people. Well, maybe not "Good" things, but at least things that are better than shitty things. Being optimistic isn't always horrible. It can actually have some good results. This morning, I was refered to a job. A job that I basically have already.

It's not a great job, but it is a job. It's like, uh... Retail meets Tech Support. Mostly retail, but I don't really have a right to be picky these days. Yet again in my life, I'm thankful to have a real job opportunity.

I was on the phone with the guy who will be managing the place I should be working for, and he is also a product of the rapidly declining work force of the IT field. He used to be a systems manager or something, and now he's a store manager. Its terrible that so many skilled people are without work. Whatcha gonna do though?

Live life!

So, on the wisdom tooth front, my jaw hurts. It's funky, because there's a gland or something underneath where the tooth is grinding into my mouth, and it's all swolen. It's a nasty feeling. Between the swolen gland, the grinding pain of the tooth, the headaches caused by the grinding pain of the tooth, my mouth isn't doing so well.

Life is slowly approaching mildly normal again, so I'm starting to feel better. In the next couple of months, expect to read about me going to other cities on a whim, and doing other kinds of stuff. Or who knows what's in store in the following months-- I sure don't. Hell, I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow afternoon.

It's just that I feel a little better about life right now. Sometimes it's difficult to figure out how important a 'professional' life is... well, at least until there isn't one to be spoken of. The light on the screen of the GameBoy So Phat is finally lit.

Love and adoration,

a yet again hope-filled Pam

Written, Sunday, Mar. 30, 2003 at around: 12:57 AM

I'm in the dark, but my game boy sp keeps my world well lit

Wow, what a long title-

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I haven't updated in a while. My bad. I've been going in and out of being mildly depressed, doing my best to ignore this fucking wisdom tooth, trying to find a job on this worthless collection of terminals that we call the internet, and playing my shiny, new, beautiful Game Boy Advance So Phat.

Yes, the SP stands for "So Phat." It's not worth arguing with me, I used to work for a video game store. Oh wait... several of my frequent readers are currently working at a video game store... shit. Anyway, the other day, during a mall/best buy outing with Frank, John, Darrell, and Jason, something magical happened. Frank bought me a Game Boy SP. Ooooooh, Ahhhhh. Yeah man.

Um, Frank... boyfriend... sweet... awesome... mudkip!! PokEmon!! (That's how one would say what I have to say using the conversation/letter writing functions on pokemon)And I do suppose that without Frank, things would be much like life without an SP... Kinda dark, and dull. *smirk*

To be honest, I've been really consumed by the SP, Super Mario World 2, Super Monkey Ball jr, and Pokemon Sapphire. So much, in fact that they have taken up more of my life in the past few days than sleeping, and human interaction. Well, that's not true. Perhaps there's been more human interaction, but a lot of the human interaction has been with other humans, also engaging in pokemon.

DUDE-- the best part is that I can finally play in the dark. I can turn out all of the lights in my apartment, and the SP lights everything up. It was all cool, 'cause Frank was over here, and we were playing pokemon -but not with each other.... He turned the lights out, and the SP's lit up the apartment. Well, the sp's the tv, and the computer monitor did, anyway. At least it was cool to me, damnit.

I don't think I've really written about frank lately... oh wait, I haven't written anything lately. Well, I've decided that I really like him a lot. I can get along with him on some kick ass levels. He makes me happy. That asshole.

So, the tooth still hurts like hell, and it's started giving me headaches. The headaches kind of suck, but they make me think about the tooth a lot less. Avoiding taking tyelnol has been a major objective too, because the last thing I need is to depend on it. Growing teeth in is a pain in the ass, and doing it as an adult gives one a new found respect for babies and seven year olds.

Well, it's like 1:40 now... and I need to get some rest, as I have to wake up around 6:30 to do the movie. Here's hoping that the producer isn't a prick, and hires me on full-time.

Who am I kidding?? I'm not going to sleep, I'm gonna go play more pokemon. Oh-- in related news, I now have final fantasy x again. Yay!

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Wednesday, Mar. 26, 2003 at around: 9:45 PM

Wisdom is not all it's cracked up to be

Blah blah blah,

Today has been one of those days. Although I'm not 100% sure what that is supposed to mean... it sure was one of those days. I'm feeling kind of emotionally numb, and my lower right wisdom tooth is growing in again, so my mouth hurts.

Badly.

The last time this damn tooth started growing, it kind of faked pain. There was no real threat, and it retreated to it's usual docile state. This morning, I awoke to a bit of a swolen gum. The gum that covers the remaining, partially-grown tooth, was all fat. It was almost like an Italian Gangster movie. The tooth was sending me a message through the gum. By abusing the innocent gum, the evil tooth silently shreiked for my attention. Foolisly, as I chatted with Sharee, one of the three humans that I held a telephone conversation with before noon, I answered the gum's call. I comforted the tired, pained, and restless gum, by rubbing it. This only encouraged the tooth.

I took a tylenol around one pm, and that calmed the pain a little. Tylneol is like having thugs, or jersey muscle. It said to the tooth, "Don't be fuckin' wit da boss, or we'll take care of ya," as Extra-Strength Tyelnol cracks it's pain-killing knuckles. Yeah, I'm the boss. That only makes sense. I mean, the tooth can't be the boss. Tylenol, take care of my light work! Tylenol shook it's mighty, Extra-strength fist and shouted, "Pain, you sleeps wit da fishes!"

That it did.

So, the day goes by, I forget about everything that happened with the tooth, and it's manichal ways. I considered some therapy... perhaps with some hot blonde shrink, with big knockers. Wait... I said gangster movie, not tv show. My bad. Anyway... after the pain went away, the day seemed brighter, and more beautiful.

Today was a lovely, warm day. So warm, in fact, that I broke a sweat walking to the supermarket. It had to be like 79 or 80 out. I came home, and sat on my front step, eating lunch, drawing, talking on the phone, and playing satan's game-- I mean, pokemon. Then, dramatically, the weather changed in the span of twenty minutes. It went from a warm and lightly breezy afternoon to a windy, cool, spitty and rainy evening.

Anyway, around four thirty, post-dramatic weather change, Frank came to visit me. That made me happy. That was also around when the tyelnol's contract ran out, and abandoned me. I guess blood isn't thicker than acetaminophen. That made me sad. Again, I answered the call of the sad little gum, and rubbed it. Again, the tooth was appeased, and laughed at my foolisness. "Mwahahahaha!!"

This is about when this went from a gangster flick to a horror movie.

"THE TOOTH ACHE THAT WOUDLN'T DIE!"
Starring: Pam, as the chick that dies before the end of the flim, newcomer/battle rap artist Frank as the boyfriend, Tyelnol as the jaded hero, and Bottom Right Wisdom Tooth as the toothache that woudln't die.

FadeIn-
ESTABLISHING SHOT, -URBAN CITY, DAY.
Various shots of Philadelphia, showing mostly dentist offices.

Scene 2, PAM'S APARTMENT:
FRANK, a caucasian male in his early twenties and PAM, a seemingly African American female in her early twenties are watching Ocean's 11 and relaxing on the couch. FRANK looks over at PAM as she begins rubbing something inside of her mouth.

Yeah, I feel an Oscar coming on.

Anyway, I just took another tylenol. I'm eyeing up these Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies that I bought at 7-11, and I'm a little afraid of eating them. Jesus, I'm scared of Soft Batch cookies. I can hardly open my mouth more than two inches or so.

Oh no.... Since I started writing this, another wisdom tooth started growing/hurting as well. Please, oh powers that be... god, goddess, jeovha, buddah, crystal meth... PLEASE don't make me go through growing in two wisdom teeth at once. The last time that the bottom right one started growing in, it hurt so bad that the only way I could get sleep was to cry until my body passed out due to dehydration.

No, seriously.

Well, maybe not, but dude. I haven't enough sanity to tolerate two growths. I might just pay for whatever I gotta pay for to get them removed if this continues.

Okay, I'm going to drink some Gatorade, and pray. May the force be with all of you.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, Tuesday, Mar. 25, 2003 at around: 10:06 PM

Another day is about over

Well then,

Updating right now is almost pointless. Nothing of any real interest happened to me today. Life is basicaly the same. That doesn't make for exciting journal entries. Nor does it make for interesting days for me. Sorry. Oh yeah, thanks to countless suggestions, the Glossary has been updated. Like, for real this time.

Well, let me think for a second, and pull out some of the highlights of my day. Well, I woke up on my own at ten something am, and called Frank at work. Strangely, that's becoming a morning ritual. Since going somewhere in the morning is not part of my morning routine these days, I have certian luxuries. Like being able to select who the first person I hold a conversation with will be most mornings. Well, this morning the first voice I heard was Noy's (Oh, I updated the glossary if you care) but the first conversation was with Frank.

My boyfriend is going to be a Battle Rapper. Stop laughing, assholes. I'm serious. You don't know-- dude, since Frank saw 8 Mile last week, he's been all about freestyling. Oddly enough, he's pretty good too. I'm probabally going to encourage him, as he'll shortly have more time on his hands. He is going to be a fully fledged member of the IQC soon. I need to hear him freestyle more, because the rhymes he spits are pretty good. Did I say that right? One would, "Spit" rhymes, correct? *laughs* -I type this as a remix of Ice Ice Baby comes on my MP3 player- Seriously though, who wouldn't be proud to be the girlfriend of a battle rapper? I would.

He'd go to his battles with the other rapper guys, or whatever the right term is. I'd dress in some sexy catsuit thing, and be his arm candy. Rap battles would be a good opportunity for shouting out obcenities, and pointing fingers. I'd talk shit to the other arm-candy bitches that the bad rapper guys would bring along, and tell them stuff like, "Your hoe ass ain't shit! And your man is a pussy!" It would make for quite a sight. I don't usualy call guys pussies, though. Maybe I'd say- "And your man is a beeyatch!" Yeah.

Maybe I should get the sexy catsuit thing now, just in case.

Um, let's see, what else is interesting? Pokemon! Fucking pokemon. You know you've played a video game too much when you are thinking about it when you're talking to your friends on the phone. Slowly, the thought of traning my Magicarp, and what I'll do after I get my next badge seep into my thoughts during everyday tasks.

Well, it isn't that bad, but it was bad like that from final fantasy ten. Final Fantasy X was a spectacular game, which I haven't beaten yet. Not because it was so difficult or anything, but because I don't own it anymore. Final fantasy x was a game that I bought twice. You know who you are. I know where you live, and I do have connections here in south philly who will gladly remove your legs. *shakes fist* I'm seriously not going to camden for a 30 dollar game, though, lol.

Enough threatning my friends through my journal. That got old in the ninties. Wait, I didn't have a journal in the 90's.... Yep. So, I think my entertainment vibe just died, so there isn't much more interesting stuff to talk about. I hope you were all entertained.

Love and adoration,

Pam

Written, tuesday, Mar. 25, 2003 at around: 1:15 am

Gotta catch 'em all

Damn.

Good day, fellow humans. Today has been an interesting day so far. Well, no it hasn't. I've done nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. Frank came over for a little while earlier, and that was something. We watched Half Baked, which was a very funny movie. Speaking of Frank, he has one o' them Game Boy SP's. Dude. I didn't want one before, but that light feature kicks so much ass that I'd be stupid not to get one. It makes my game boy advance look like shit.

Wait, my game boy does look like shit.

Not like an actual turd or anything, but close enough in comparison. Shit. Damnit, I have to get a job, like yesterday. This isn't because rent may go unpaid, or bills are piling up-- I need to invest in more technology. A new, phat, laptop is to be bought before the end of the summer. Hey, we all have to have goals, right?

I started this entry yesterday, basicaly... But anyway, Frank came over, and he started playing pokemon. That game is terribly contageous, because dude-- I had to play too. We're sitting in the living room, playing pokemon, and not even with each other. Oddly, this makes for a good time. I don't understand it, nor do I desire to put any thought into it.

I've been playing pokemon a lot. A whole lot. Why the fuck does this one pokemon have the ablity to use a power called, "Water sport?" Get the fuck outta here. They passed that by the censors? Jesus. Maybe censorship isn't as horrible as was previously imagined.

Well, there's still nothing on my bedroom walls, but I am kind of tired. I'm going to go draw some more, play some pokemon, and twiddle my thumbs until I get pooped out and fall asleep.

Love and adoration,

Pam