Why do I even talk to girls?

Oooh, special font day...

Hi.

Um, yeah. So I'm feeling particularly lesbian today. My boyfriend came over yesterday, and he's a really cool guy, but I found myself questioning my sexuality (again) before he came over. He is male. That's good. I can speak to him, and the conversation will be relitivly intelegable. He's emotional, but nowhere near as emotional as an emotional GIRL is. I really don't find the naked male body all that attractive. Women are much prettier nude. Men, can however, be very attractive people.

I would want to be a lesbian more if I didn't find women as annoying as I do. After getting to know Gabi, Kassiah, Cindy, Samantha, Amy, Heather, Katie, Illy, and scores of other female people of a straighter persuasion, I really can't stand them. Not that the majority of the people I just mentioned suck or anything... I mean if I never had to see Gabi or Kasiaiah again, my world wouldn't end. Perhaps it would be happier.

Anyway, Samantha Amy Heather Katie and Illy are all great girls. But they're capible of being such outright bitches. All for different reasons.

Illy is probabally the least bitchy out of that group. Illy is one of those really sweet girly girls who feel everything. To Ileana, everything is an emotion. A song is an emotion. A conversation is an emotion. I would be lucky if I felt it when I was upset. Feh. I'm getting better at acting like I'm in touch with my emotions, but the fact that I'm as calm as I am when shit goes down is my only quality here, so I'm trying to make it last, okay??

Anyway, Illy. She's like, a very sweet and timid young lady. She's more of a lady than any other girl I know. That's why my boyfriend is attracted to her. Beside the fact that he can help her. God knows what his plan is... He should date her. I should date someone who isn't him for a while. I'm losing my mind, I swear. ...

Samatha is horney. That's all I can say. She's a great girl, she has a lot of great ideas, and she's blond. Yes, that is the sound of pam crushing on one of her best friends. Very embarrasing. Especially considering that she is one of the few girls I know who really don't want to try having sex with a girl, even though she is "curious." I love samantha though. I haven't heard from her in a long time, and I miss her a lot. I hope she's okay and everything. *sniff*

Amy. Phew. Dear god. I don't know what to say about that one. She's orignal. There's no other kid out there like her. Yeah, I said kid, although she'll be 20 in a month or so. I can hardly believe it, because I look at her and see a 16 year old. My friend Will puts her in a group he calls the "14 year olds." I don't remember if I'm in that group anymore. Maybe. Who knows. But Amy. Amy is an artist, who adores anime more than I could even pretend to, and I'm quite the anime dork. She's very weird, and has a "You will do this for me" attitude about her that irks me to no end. Ah well.

Cindy.... Cindy was one of my better friends and I don't think anyone knew. Not even me. She was the smartest dumb girl I ever met. She wasn't like, very book smart, but she had the wit and social skills to more-than make up for it. Cindy had a baby when she was in highschool, so she had a 5 year old when she was 20. Cindy was very sexy, and could mold a man's will like no one elses. She was my role model. Although I could never be like her. I'm not like that, nor do I have the social skills to actually mold people. I suck.

Heather was a very confused girl. She was like, woa. She was blonde haired and blue eyed *I collect them aperently* She was a good friend. Pretty smart, but she hates school. And she ALWAYS had a new boyfriend. Her parents were litteraly tearing the hairs out of the sides of their heads. She was just trying to get some affection, because her family was never home and her sister was on crack... well not litteraly but she was kinda weird.

Katie was a cool girl... She was very dramatic... I think she wanted to be an actress. We had created a play together, and her dumb friend rachel was in it. Feh. I wanted katie to be my best friend. I was going through that stage in my life where "best friends" Was the most important phrase to be able to say. I couldn't because my last best friend had gone "Away to school" (my mom said they put her in an institution) so I couldn't see her anymore. Katie already had a best friend. An annoying bitch named Rachel. I didn't like rachel, her mom or her brother. Rachel was black, and she got everything that she wanted. I didn't. We argued constantly, and it always came down to "Well, katie and I are best friends." Fuck you.

Well, now I'm all growed up, and life is kind of the same. I know girls, they're annoying, and I complain about it. I couldn't be a successful lesbian, because I'm too easily annoyed with the antics of female people. Perhaps one day I'll find the missing link.

Girls suck.

Pam.