You don't have to go home

But I might get the hell outta here.

I met my new landlord for the first time this morning. He seems like a nice enough guy, but I'm worried that he's going to do something to my building that'll mean I have to move out in september.

That frightens me, because I dispise looking for places to live. I've repaired my credit (some, but not much) since I've moved into this apartment... but I doubt it would be easy to find another place to live, especially at the rate I pay now.

So, to prepare myself for what I believe as being ineveidable... I was looking at classified ads for apartments today. Looking at apartments in philadelphia is depressing. I'd like to move to center city, so I'd be closer to work, but those apartments are painfully expensive. Plus, very few of them accept cats. I can't ditch my cat just cause I need someplace to live! Plus I'm supposed to be adopting another kitten in a month or two. I can't afford to spend half of my income on rent a month. I'd not only starve, but I'd be pissed off about it too.

So I looked at apartments in the suburbs, and even in New Jersey. I found plenty of places within my price range, or a hundred more than what I'm accustomed to, but youch. So I started fantasizing about living in a neighborhood free of bars and kids on my steps smoking weed... Then I realized that if I move to either the western suburbs of philadelphia, or to New Jersey, that I'd need a car.

I can't afford a car, and it would be such an unnessacary expense.

It saves me a ton of money to live in philadelphia right now, and that's because I work in center city. I don't -want- to live in philadelphia (this is the only place I've ever lived, which kind of pisses me off) but I can't afford to live much of anywhere else. I guess I could live in camden county, but I'm afraid of how taxes would kick my ass if I moved. Plus I owe the state of Pennsylvania some money, so that might be an issue as well. I thought about moving to deleware county, but that would just intensify whaatever commute I'd have to take in the morning. I'd rather live somewhere on the patco speedline (the train that goes from philly to jersey) so that I could just go straight there to here, just like I do now.

It'd save me money.

Having a car is just too expensive right now anyway. I have too much other shit to pay off to be worried about transportation. Gas, and insurance would kick my ass so badly that I wouldn't know what to do. Plus, where i work, parking is insane, so if I did move to the suburbs, I'd be all fucked, because I'd have to drive into the city, park somewhere for free, and take septa anyway, which wouldn't really save me any fucking money.

Or I could spend 80 bucks a month (plus gas, and applicable tolls) for a parking space accross the street, or something. I don' t know.

Me moving out of the city is really more of a headahce than I thought, unless I can get a job nearby where I work, in which case having a car may not be so terrible. But I kind of like it here at napco (for the time being) so I'll think about it.

How about I consern myself with february before I start fretting over what might not even happen in september.

love and adoration,

pam