Fariy Godmomma at your service!

Hey there,

So those of you who actually give a shit (do you actually exist, or am I just more concited than I orignally imagined?) I'm still alive. The past two weeks have been injected with Jury Duty okayness (can't go so far as to call it goodness) and I haven't had time to sit at my desk and relax for a bit.

I really hate this job.

My goddaughter is a fully fledged person now. She was born on April 22nd with a full head of curly black hair, and weighed a healthy 7 lbs and 7 ounces. Well, by law she's been a person for a couple of months, but that's not what I'm trying to convay.

She's a cute little baby, and I love her to bits. It's so amazing that we each start off life as such tiny, helpess creatures, and grow up into such distructive creatures.

That is the nature of life, isn't it? To create and destroy. In that order.

Arius Elyss is an adorable baby, and I've gotten to hold her a lot, and I've been supprised at the fact that holding her makes me SO fucking joyful that I don't have a child of my own right now. As much as I love Arius (and no kidding, I really love that little person, no matter what kind of outs Sharee and I may have, I love her baby) and I know I would love my own kid, dude.

Fuck that noise.

Babies are needy, helpless things. I don't even want needy helpless pets, let alone having to care 24-7 for a thing that can't go take a shit on it's own. No thanks. I'm still living life and adjusting to taking care of myself. Plus, taking care of a human being alone doesn't sound like fun. Not that I'd nessicarially have to raise a kid on my own, but you get me.

That's another huge issue for me. I don't want to raise a person on my own. Whenever I decide, " Hmm. I'm bored. Yeah. I think I feel like having a child today," I don't want to be talking to myself when I make that statment.

Arius is perhaps the best person to waltz into my life this year. She's opening my eyes to so many things that I had previously protected myself from (or was life protecting me from it?) and I'm learning a lot of shit about caring for children without actually being required to do jack shit. That rules.

I bought Arius three outfits and two books. That cost me almost sixty dollars. Sixty dollars! She weighs ten pounds! That's six bucks a pound! I wouldn't pay that much for fresh seafood!!

But needless to say, it's expensive having a child. Baby clothing is really expensive considering that they grow so quickly, and the material used to cover someone who's only 28 inches long isn't really worth 16.99. I don't know how people do it. Fuck saving for college, you've gotta save for the first year of their life.

I now understand the concept of baby showers fully and completly.

Whenever I start getting that itch to have a child, I'm going to start making lots of care-takerish female friends who'll buy lots of useful newborn things.

But anyway, the baby is so cute. I have pictures, but none of them have been scanned just yet. She doesn't even look like the picture taken of her a week ago. She's growing so fast. It's a really unique feeling to know that you've honestly known someone (who you aren't related to) since the day they were born.

When I'm 30 she'll turn seven years old. It'll be really weird, because her mom and I are only a week apart in age, so I guess I pretty much am a godmother. I'm like mom, but I still have the opportunity to be cool. Hopefully I'll be in her life for a while, because to be completly full of myself, she needs a chick like me in her life.

Not to be cocky (me?? Cocky???) but I think Aruis likes me. I've held a lot of people's kids in my day, and usually I get a sense of wheather they like me or not. Most of the time they like me, but sometimes they're like, I want my momma. Arius seemed to be very comfortable with me, and slept on me, and crawled around on me. She even kinda supported herself on her legs when I held her up-- something that Sharee said she had never done before.

Yay!

But she's a cutie, and I'll be a proud god mommie and post cute pictures of her whenever I get them scanned.

I can't wait until she starts talking, and I can really get to know her. That's very exciting to me. I love getting to know the ins and outs of grown ups, but getting a fresh start with someone sounds like such a wonderful and vibrant expereince. I'm excited!

Oh, and speaking of excited, 39 days until Las Vegas!!

Love and adoration,

Pam